I find it not what is said but what is done that really matters the most to me..Having others pretend like every thing is just fine when it isn't or worse walk away for months at a time with no words or contact and then call up out of the blue and pick up where they left off like nothing ever happened..can be hurtful, but guess what things did happen during all those months while they were gone and you were scared but you can not talk about it because if you do they say they have to go and hang up the phone like nothing every happened. Just like the always do..
So my advice would be to listen and be there for others who need help..Acknowledge there existence..Let them know you care..Sometimes a kind listening ear is all a person really needs..Just knowing that someone cares and is listening can be a great comfort to them and it might turn out to be a real lifesaver too. I think the act of listening and acknowledging the other person can help lessen their fears. I know it helps me a great deal when I know others care..
My brother got panic from an antibiotic, so he wrote me insisting that all I had to do was quit taking my antibiotics. Yes they do have that (some) as a side effect and at the time I was taking three times max dose of cloxacillin for a staph infection in my blood. It was that or die slow and painful so you can guess which road I took. This was a contributing factor to me becoming dependent on Ativan.
No one has had the nerve to tell me it is all in my head. It is sort of so they would have been close. I have been told that I was a selfish inconsiderate etc.etc. because during my worst period there were a lot of things I could not do.
People who don't have a panic disorder can not understand it at all. This is something you can't learn without first hand knowledge. I forgive them for their ignorance, but wish they would keep their opinions to themselves.
For me it was that they did not believe there is such a thing as panic disorders - that I was too sensitive - then they usually go on about how they would handle such and such and the subject is always turned to all about them and how wonderful they are. sigh.....
What bothered me is when someone is patronizing. For example, i can think of two people with much more serious conditions speaking to me using the term "your anxiety", and though I'm some object, and they're superior. They're so far gone, i think they didn't know how they're impacting me.
I suppose i somehow had to respond with a remark around that phrase and how demeaning it is
When I first had panic disorder and agoraphobia over two years ago, I sometimes found some friends and family were frustrated, because they didn't have the problem, so they literally didn't understand it. They became impatient, or would say, "snap out of it", "can't you get over it", or "just do it", etc. It was hurtful, because I didn't want to be that way and it just compounded the situation and made it worse when they were impatient with me. It made me feel bad. I wanted to be able to do things, like everyone else, and probably wanted to do it more than they realized. Patience and empathy would have helped. I do, however, have a supportive daughter. Although I no longer have panic or agoraphobia, I sometimes still have mild anxiety in the car and I get upset with myself about it and my daughter is calm and reassuring and says it's no big deal, I'll be alright and I am. I guess that's part of why I'm overly attached to her, she makes me feel good about myself, whether I'm having a moment of anxiety or not. She helps diffuse the situation and I can continue going places with her. She's great :) By the way, I think friends and family are upset for you, because they want you to enjoy yourself, but it comes out at being upset at you.
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