Hi Sunny,
I love all of your posts, because you have the greatest outlook on everything.
I've had two kinds of holidays. When my daughter was little and I was still married to her Father, we used to have to drive long distances to visit family for every holiday. I would get stressed out, not only with getting everyone gifts, but with traveling and never being able to be at my home for the holidays. It was fun, but exhausting.
After being divorced, and having equal visitation, the holidays became unbearable for me, because we would alternate holidays and sometimes my daughter would not be home for Christmas, I'm sure it was tough on her too. To cope and survive, I really down played the holidays and pretended they were regular days, not holidays or anything special, it eased my grief. Sad, but true. I didn't know about The Panic Center at that time or I could have used the coping skills :)
Now, my daughter doesn't have visitation, she's an adult. She's post college, so she can go where ever she wants for Christmas. So, it's the first time we've had this type of holiday with the role transition of my daughter being an adult. I'm sure she'll come some time during the holiday and she's coming some time for Thanksgiving also. With my parents in Florida, it's hard, I miss them. But, like Sunny, I've found ways around it. I look at my photo album and I'm grateful for the 6 weeks I spent with them. I call them every day and we laugh. And, I know one day they'll be back in the area and we can visit them for all of the holidays again. This time I will be glad to travel to see them :) We have a very tiny farm house with short ceilings and tiny rooms, so we've never had room for an inside Christmas tree. In the past I've bought a table top one. I did have fun, not stress, picking out gifts for my family this year. I still need to get a few more things, but I'm having fun which it's supposed to be.
What will be different this year? My daughter has a career and is an adult, so it's time to set new traditions.
What do I want to gain? Just enjoying being in the moment with our small family (Dominique, George and the pets).
What do I want the focus to be? I want to focus on the real meaning of Christmas which is the birth of Christ. That is more important than presents, cooking meals, and being stressed out. My Mom did something neat, one Christmas, that put everything into perspective. She made a birthday cake for Jesus and she said, "Happy Birthday Jesus" and we all sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. It was one Christmas I will never forget.
Shari
