Hi my name is Sarah
I have been off work for 6 weeks due to an operation and have been recovering well. Alongside this, I am moving with my work to a new role in a new location which means that my family and I are moving house and also a new school for my13 year old son. My eldest son is staying in our current home town and going to live with is grandparents whilst he saves up for his own house (he is 23 and never been away from us). We are only going to be moving 45 minutes away.
Everything was going fantastically, everything was going to plan, I was excited about my new job (having already met the people) and after months of planning we found our dream home. We have not moved yet as we are waiting for the contracts.
So yesterday the biggest wave of panic came over me, I felt sick, had palpitations and other symptons and thought "I just can't move house and do this new job". But I have to, we are almost there with the house and have spent money on solicitors, the job I am going to are expecting me on Tuesday and my old job is filled. I went to the doctors in a total state and he said I should have some more time off get CBT. He is happy to sign me off for 2 more weeks against my original sick note which is good, but surely I am just prolonging things. If I have 2 weeks off I still have to start day one again in another 2 weeks.
I feel absolutely dreadful as if I am going totally crazy. My husband is cross because we chose our future and up until yesterday everything was perfect. I am planning that I am going to panic in my new home because I'm not near my parents or my eldest son, I am planning that I will panic when I have to get the train to work everyday, I am planning that I will be so anxious that I will not be able to breathe, I am panicking that I won't be able to do my new job.
Another little strange thing when I feel bad is that I cannot take any form of medication, if I take a tablet I throw myself around and run outside thinking I have taken something bad. I know this is all totally irrational but I am feeling it.
I really don't think I can go along with the move and the job - but I have to!
I need help today to cope with this -not tablets that will take 4 weeks to work, or on a waiting list for CBT.
Suggestions please anyone, I am totally desperate.
Thanks x