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Hi, I´m Hannah


12 years ago 0 2 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
   Thanks, guys. No, I'm not really doing anything yet. Could you tell me more about the program? I mainly joined because of these forums. I felt kind of alone for a while yesterday, so I thought it'd be good to talk to people who have been here before and know what it's like. But looking over it, it seems to be very helpful.
   Yesterday DID get a lot better, though. My friend Ariel tried to commit suicide once, and even though she doesn't have the same problem I have, she's living proof that these things can be healed. Anyways, she called me, and she was very reassuring. She and my boyfriend came over, and we talked and laughed. I almost felt back to normal!
   This morning I woke up, and my stomach was in knots again. But I was able to eat a little breakfast, and I'm hoping that'll make me feel better. Also, my boyfriend's going to stay over with me in case I start feeling bad during the day. So I guess today I'm scared...but I know it'll be okay.
12 years ago 0 653 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hannah,
 
You are doing really well. You are taking care of yourself and thinking about how you react and what it means. Are you doing the program? Do you do CBT already? What else helps you through these challenging times? Be gentle with yourself. Try to find some healthy foods that appeal to you to keep up your energy. Getting some exercise might also be a good way to get your endorphins going and wear off some of your feeling of anxiety.
 
Let us know how we can help. Stay strong!
 
 
Tiana, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 659 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Hannah,

Welcome to the support group..I am sorry you are having such a hard time of it right now..You said you have done it before and you can do it again..That you can stick it out..You are a survivor and you will make it through this..
I understand you see your counselor on Thursday..Thats not too far off now..If  its gets to be to much and you feel you need to reach out and get help from a place where you can stay than I would not hesitate to seek out the help you need..In the mean time you might want to start reading the program here and see if that helps..You can also read some of the old posts and see if that takes your mind off of your panic..Kind of like a distraction..It might help..I find distractions help take my mind off of the anxiety/panic..Hang in there...
 
Red.
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hannah.

First, welcome to the site, The program does work. 

Effexor is an SSRI and they work for anxiety even though they are not an anti anxiety, but only if you keep a constant level which means no skipping. If you skip you will leave yourself open to panic attacks and they will snowball because you will start to fear having one even if you are not going to. If it will not keep you from having panic attacks then you need to talk to your doctor about an anti anxiety medication. You also need to do this program which is very good or some form of CBT. Only CBT will give you the freedom you seek, medication is only a bandaid. Medication will weaken over time, CBT only gets stronger.
We are a friendly bunch and are here to help so you don't have to do this alone. We are a very successful support group. I hope you will stay with us.

Here for you,
Davit.
12 years ago 0 89 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You are right. It will get better again. Funny, I was just writing the same thing in another part of the forum about my relapse.
Life does have its ups and downs. Feelings are NOT facts. It will get better because you came here - you are looking for help and want help. 
That tells me that you know this can be overcome, and just need a hand, an ear to listen and some skills in dealing with anxiety that you might not already have.
12 years ago 0 2 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
   Wow, this is going to be a very, very long introduction. But...my name's Hannah. I guess I haven't technically been diagnosed with panic disorder, but I was diagnosed with depression about 4 years ago. I had my first panic attack around that time. It was absolutely terrifying. For the next week or so, I felt awful. Eventually I was able to get back to school, and it made me feel a LOT better, but I would get home and start feeling anxious again. I became an absolute hypochondriac. I would start feeling as if I were sick and as if I were dying. Usually I'd throw up and feel better again. The doctor put me on some kind of antidepressant. It didn't work too well, but eventually my symptoms cleared up. I was put on Effexor (which I can't really remember if that was before or after I stopped having panic attacks. I was going through quite an ordeal at that time.)
   Anyways, with my Effexor, I've felt almost completely normal for about the past 2 years. Sometimes I'd forget to take a dose, and I'd start feeling anxious again. Also, I'd get to feeling really nervous when I was around certain groups of people. Other than that, though, I felt healthy and non-depressed.
   About a week ago, I left my Effexor behind at my grandma's house. I figured I'd just get it refilled the next day since I was almost out anyways. But I didn't get it back for three more days. I felt alright the first two, and had my first panic attack in a long time that next day. I started taking it again. I normally feel fine after only missing it that much and starting again (and it's happened several times). This time, I could tell I felt kind of blah at school. The next day (Saturday), I had another panic attack.
   Since then, I've felt like I'm in a living hell, and I have no idea why. I'm terrified all the time for no reason. I always feel kind of surreal, like I did a few years ago. This time around, it seems even worse. I can't eat anything. When I do try to eat because I know that the lack of food is making me sicker, thus making me worry more, I can hardly hold it down. The thing about my previous panic attacks...usually they would take place a certain time of day, and I knew I didn't need to worry until then. Now I feel like I'm having one giant panic attack all the time because I'll start shaking all of the sudden. Sometimes I think about suicide, which I know I would never actually do...I just want to sleep for a while and wake up feeling good again. It's just so strange because my life was about at its best when this came about. I understand that Effexor has some pretty nasty effects when dosages are missed, but like I said, I usually go right back to normal. At this point, it's just one giant circle--I feel sick, I get scared that I'm sick, I get scared that I'm going to die, I'm so scared that I WANT to die, over and over and over again. I'm going to the counselor on Thursday. Until then, I guess I'm just going to have to stick it out. I'm thinking I may need some time in a place that can specifically help me with these problems.
   I know that if I survived it once, I can survive it again. But right now...every minute seems to be dragging, and I just want to be done with all of it so I can get back to living.

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