i find sometimes coffee sets me off too, but i'm starting to notice earlier if i'm having a bad day, and just avoiding it. i really enjoy herbal teas, especially sleepytime, it's a blend of mint, chamomile and other calming things.
Decaf coffee does have small amounts of caffeine in it and in turn can potentially have adverse effects concerning your anxiety. However, as Davit mentioned if you were already edgy, chances are good that it was the thought and not the coffee.
You might want to try having a cup during a time when you are not on edge and taking note of how you feel after and starting a journal.
Unfortunately decaf coffee still has the acids in it that regular coffee has and these can irritate your stomach giving you anxiety depending on how sensitive your stomach is. Milk in your coffee may make it better or worse. Also if you are looking for it to happen it will. Caffeine does not cause anxiety it merely increases the tendency the same as Camomile reduces it. If you were already edgy, chances are pretty good it was the thought not the coffee. I love black tea but limit myself to two cups in the morning and expect to have to mentally deal with the anxiety it is going to increase. Over time this dealing with the anxiety will become a normal part of life and I won't even notice it. If I knew more about your anxiety and how long you have had it I or some one else here could better advise you how to deal with it.
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