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Specific Problems in Communication III

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Specific Problems in Communication III

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 224

Davit, you are right that sometimes we do have to deal with people who just seem to complain all the time, or argue for the sake of arguing, or in your case those who like to put the stress on your shoulders.

Memembers, what are some things you do, to deal with these types of situations?

Also, remember there is nothing wrong with walking away from destructive relationships, sometimes you just have to. You also have to remember, you cannot change other people, you can only change yourself.

Luciana, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Ashley

OK, But how do you deal with a partner that is a cronic complainer,or for that matter a friend or relative. And how about the devils advocate. It can be very stressful dealing with some one who argues black is white just because that is there idea of conversation.If it's in the coffee shop, well then fine just leave. But in the home? And some people won't admit they do this. And if you don't argue back then you get accused of negligence. Then there are the people who get rid of there stress by putting it on your shoulders. I have some one who does that to me. It can take a perfect day and just destroy it. And this person is a close relative so I have to put up with it. And if I comment on it then I don't get talked to for months. It's a lose, lose situation. The only answer seems to be don't get into the situation in the first place. Saying sorry only goes so far. Besides some people don't hear it any way. Some people only hear what they want to. How do you deal with them? Or is it me? Is there something wrong in me that makes me walk away from these, what I call destructive relationships.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Members,

Counterpunching

Counterpunching often goes with kitchen sinking. While kitchen sinking is about the content of what people are saying, counterpunching is about how people are arguing. When people counterpunch during a dispute, they answer a complaint with a complaint. So instead of recognizing, acknowledging and talking about a problem with what they’ve said or done, they “hit back” at the other person with a complaint of their own.

For example:

• You never take out the garbage

• You never cut me any slack

• You’re just lazy

• I always have to do everything

• You don’t appreciate how tired I am when I get home

• Somebody has to work to pay the bills

…and on and on and on it goes. As it is with kitchen sinking, the problem with counterpunching is that the dispute quickly becomes about everything. Everybody feels terrible and nobody’s willing to admit to any problem as their own. As for kitchen sinking, the solution to this problem is to recognize counterpunching when it’s happening and try to keep the dispute focused on the specific situation that’s happening right now.

If one person can recognize counterpunching when it is happening and hold back from trying to “hit back,” then both people have a much better chance of being able to focus on the specific problem at hand.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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Specific Problems in Communication III