That would make sense Eleveno! You would probably feel more in control of a situation and that may relieve the anxiety. It also would probably make others interactions with you more productive and positive and that would probably help with the Depression too! Interesting.
What would be a SMART goal you could set for yourself around this? If you have room for one more goal this week that is.
When I am using an assertive style I feel more in control of the situation as opposed to other styles (the situation controls me). When I am assertive people enjoy talking with me. Interesting is the fact that when I am assertive I do not notice any symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Maybe improving one communication style (be more assertive) could have a positive impact on depression and anxiety.
What difference have you noticed when using assertive as opposed to passive/passive-aggressive communication styles? How do people react to you? How do you feel?
I mostly use 2 styles of communication and depending on the situation. For example, at work I have a passive style while at home I have a passive-aggressive style.
I tend to use these 2 styles when I am feeling more depressed or anxious. When I am feeling "normal" I consider myself an assertive person most of the time.
Maybe I have to review the strategies often to be more assertive and to remind me that I need to use them when I am feeling down.
The other day, we asked you to take notice and keep track of your communication style. Now that you’ve identified your problem areas and patterns, we will now begin exploring the art of assertive communication. This skill is also helpful if you are currently struggling with anger management.
If you’re willing to try to experiment with being more assertive, here are some strategies to help you get started:
Perspective taking
In order to be more assertive in your personal and professional relationships, you’re going to have to get better at understanding where they might be coming from. In order to get better at taking the other person’ perspective you might start by asking yourself these questions: • What could this situation look like from his/her perspective? • What does she/he want or need from me in this situation? • What is he/she getting from me in this situation? • How can I attend to his/her needs in this situation?
Take a time-out
When you start to feel angry, agree to take a time-out to cool down. Taking a break from the situation will also give you time to think about, identify problems in communication, do some perspective taking and begin brainstorming solutions.
For important discussions, try to plan them at a time where you and the other person involved are likely to be in a relaxed, open state and frame of mind.
Ask questions
Good communicators ask a lot of questions. Instead of trying to mind read, ask the person what they need, want or how they feel about the situation at hand. Good communicators ask for feedback about how what they say and do affect others.
Listen
Asking questions is great but you also have to really listen to the answers you receive and keep asking and listening until you think you understand what they need or want to the best of your reasoning.
We now invite our members to ask questions and/or post comments!
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