Counterpunching
Counterpunching often goes with kitchen sinking. While kitchen sinking is about the content of what people are saying, counterpunching is about how people are arguing. When people counterpunch during a dispute, they answer a complaint with a complaint. So instead of recognizing, acknowledging and talking about a problem with what they’ve said or done, they “hit back” at the other person with a complaint of their own.
For example:
• You never take out the garbage
• You never cut me any slack
• You’re just lazy
• I always have to do everything
• You don’t appreciate how tired I am when I get home
• Somebody has to work to pay the bills
…and on and on and on it goes. As it is with kitchen sinking, the problem with counterpunching is that the dispute quickly becomes about everything. Everybody feels terrible and nobody’s willing to admit to any problem as their own. As for kitchen sinking, the solution to this problem is to recognize counterpunching when it’s happening and try to keep the dispute focused on the specific situation that’s happening right now.
If one person can recognize counterpunching when it is happening and hold back from trying to “hit back,” then both people have a much better chance of being able to focus on the specific problem at hand.
