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simran patel

komalshrama3971

2022-11-26 2:17 AM

Depression Community

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Ashley -> Health Educator

2022-11-24 2:19 PM

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why life is better

Ashley -> Health Educator

2022-11-24 2:06 PM

Managing Drinking Community

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Browse through 411.585 posts in 46.994 threads.

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11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Moms with grown children - assistance needed

Oh, upsidedown... I hear you,.loud and clear.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo One tells you that bearing children lasts a lifetime.  So much hope,  so much worry.  I hear your mother pain and experience it myself as well.  My alive son just turned 30 years old and he sounds just like yours.  When my son goes on and on and on about the most current crisis in his life (and there is always something) I can't help but remember that I was totally on my own at age 17.  Self-supporting.  Self-sufficient. 
 
WTF!  I can't help it.  Sometimes that's all I can hear in my head :/  I love my son.  I truly do..... and I understand that his immaturity is much my fault.... but geeeeeeze.... when is he gonna start solving his own problems?  To definitely answer one of your questions.... I never call him except for holidays and bdays or if anything special happens in the family.  Otherwise I figure no news is good news and let him (and me) be. It IS hard, but I like to think healthier in the long run.
 
His sister is very different.  Granted she has a husband  and children which helps in the being grounded part.  Amazing how two children form the same parents can be so different.  I  don't want to bore you with details.... but just wanted to let you know that I understand and your comments... processing... over your son helps me a lot.  Please keep posting!
 
Good luck figuring this out and please share the wisdom you gain in the process!!!!  
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Moms with grown children - assistance needed

thank you all for your warm welcome and thank you Andie for bringing up the topic... it finally got me posting   Parenting can certainly be anxiety provoking.  I have been watching and reading and learning so much.  The strength and wisdom here are evident. I am grateful to be welcomed.
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Don´t know how to begin...

I've written and deleted so many messages.  I don't know what to say.  I don't know how to begin.  I am inspired by your stories.  Before I came here I didn't know I was so ignorant about such a major force in my life... I never thought of myself as having anxiety, but it is becoming quite clear to me that fear determines everything.  I read your stories and I see me.  I don't judge you.  I feel compassion for you.  I wish I could do that for me.  I feel afraid and disgusted by my fear.  I don't know how to begin............. i'm feeling  very disjointed and I know it shows in my writing. I'm sorry.  I feel frustrated because I have spent years learning about and controlling depression.... did I just miss out on the anxiety teaching and treatment?  I thought agoraphobia meant you can't leave your house.  I didn't know it included avoiding all those other things out in the world that I avoid so I don't hit any triggers anymore and can perceive myself cured... normal.... hahahahahahahahahahahahahah   
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Set backs and thinking of being completely "cured"

I never knew there was a name for  this... nor that other people experienced it.... I just thought I was terribly defective
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Don´t know how to begin...

Thank you for your kind welcome ladies. I DO feel better... calmer just hearing from you.  How funny that all the things that I thought made me unique and totally crazy weird... are things you are sharing about yourselves.  But then you are saying it has gotten better through this work and I'm really excited and sad and scared and thrilled all at the same time.  I guess that's all I have for this morning.  Thank you for listening.
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Don´t know how to begin...

Thank you, I need all the help I can get! Good questions Ashley. I don't know what to focus on right now.  I just feel very .... messy inside and disorganized.  I feel overwhelmed too.  I guess you could say I'm too depressed to make a decision about the growing anxiety for which is why I need to drink    It all seems rather interconnected, but trying to do all three simultaneously is somewhat confusing.  Has anyone else struggled with this?  How did you resolve the situation?  Help????  
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Confusion on terminology and long term affect

Freezing with tunnel vision is considered a panic attack?  I never knew that.  I think I don't have panic attacks because of the lack of external physical symptoms.  I freeze and am freaking out inside but from the outside it just looks like I'm being very still... except I'm not doing it on purpose and I can't unfreeze until things calm down inside.  So I DO have panic attacks?
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Don´t know how to begin...

Yes, I know I need to stop drinking.  I first came to Evolution Health programs through the Stop Smoking Center and then the Alcohol Help Center.  I quit smoking this summer, but have not been successful with giving up alcohol although I've cut back and de-fogged considerably.  With the help of our wonderful Health Educators and members of that forum I came to realize I drink to calm myself and to give myself courage.  When I first came in I just thought I drank to turn the volume down on my emotions and that of the world around me.  It was all just too loud.
 
With less alcohol in my system  (and as part of the withdrawal) I got pretty depressed.  I went over to the Depression Center and started going through the CBT program there while continuing with AHC..   As alcohol consumption declined, and depression started to recede.... Anxiety and friends showed up at the party uninvited.  Except, it turned out that the party had been theirs' in the first place. I guess an almost sober, non-depressed me kinda scared those guys and they called in reinforcements... you know the ones:  fear, terror, grief, pain, worry, nervousness, fear, etc., etc., etc.
 
Which brings me here to the Panic Center.  I took the tests and was shocked by the results.  Apparently I'm more of a mess than I even realized.  I am here to get help.  I'm here to do whatever it takes to change those neuralpathway thingys.  I've shown a tendency to take one step forward and two back.... but every once in awhile I manage to get a full stride going before I start to sabotage myself. But that's another story.
 
I do thank you for your insight and those questions that got me thinking how to explain.  I hope this helps ppl to understand me a little better.
 
 
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Confusion on terminology and long term affect

I'm a pretty determined tryer. 
11 years ago 0 ~m 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Don´t know how to begin...

Thank you Ashley... apparently just focusing on the Panic Center program for a month would be a huge relief as I'm sitting here suddenly in tears and a headache I've been holding for days suddenly lifted.  And, HEY!, I am aware that is happening and why.  It just makes a lot of sense to focus on the program here.  I guess I needed to hear it from someone else for the clarity to come.  And yes, I now believe the alcohol to be more of a symptom of, rather than being, the actual problem.
 
Upsidedown (Andie?) you were not too long winded.  No need to apologize. Your story resonates deeply with me.  Seeing how much you have learned and how well you manage, just since starting in August, is very encouraging to me.  And thank you for being so open about it all.  That's courage! Kinda makes me less fearful and more excited to get to work.  Thank you.