Anxiety Disorders
Hi everybody... my computer has been in for repairs so I have not been able to check in. This is such an active forum, it is going to take some time to catch up. I'll be doing quite a bit of reading! This particular thread caught my eye as I am just now starting to understand the power of "really believing it" or, more importantly... the effects of not really believing it.
The majority of my negative thoughts are fear based "I CAN'T" thoughts. For example: I can't go out of the house with my grandbaby (who I take care of during the workday). I did the 10 questions about this and realized that this statement not only isn't true, but it has been an excuse to avoid the outside world. So, then I tell myself to quit making excuses and go out because staying home all the time is not good for me or the baby. I believe this.
Ok, so today I tell myself I CAN go grocery shopping with the baby. I used to go out and about with my own children all the time when they
were little (before I became agoraphobic). I get ready to go, packing up the diaper bag with all the required baby accoutrement, get the car seat properly installed, put the trash up so the dogs can't get into it, make sure I have my wallet, my list, and my keys ... but before I can put them in the ignition I am a blubbering wreck because I don't really believe I CAN do this and can't remember WHY I'm trying to do it in the first place.
In this case, I was trying to use the far past as a ... i don't know, model ... of what I am capable of doing.... proof that I did it once I can do it again. But that didn't work out so well. I guess I'm still pulling on the more recent past which indicates I can't go grocery shopping by myself without freaking out.... much less with a baby along to watch out for.
I don't know. I'm getting lost in this. I do recognize that I tried to do too much too fast. I need to break this whole thing down into smaller steps and try again. or not? I'm lost. :/ this is embarrassing.