Don´t know how to begin...
Yes, I know I need to stop drinking. I first came to Evolution Health programs through the Stop Smoking Center and then the Alcohol Help Center. I quit smoking this summer, but have not been successful with giving up alcohol although I've cut back and de-fogged considerably. With the help of our wonderful Health Educators and members of that forum I came to realize I drink to calm myself and to give myself courage. When I first came in I just thought I drank to turn the volume down on my emotions and that of the world around me. It was all just too loud.
With less alcohol in my system (and as part of the withdrawal) I got pretty depressed. I went over to the Depression Center and started going through the CBT program there while continuing with AHC.. As alcohol consumption declined, and depression started to recede.... Anxiety and friends showed up at the party uninvited. Except, it turned out that the party had been theirs' in the first place. I guess an almost sober, non-depressed me kinda scared those guys and they called in reinforcements... you know the ones: fear, terror, grief, pain, worry, nervousness, fear, etc., etc., etc.
Which brings me here to the Panic Center. I took the tests and was shocked by the results. Apparently I'm more of a mess than I even realized. I am here to get help. I'm here to do whatever it takes to change those neuralpathway thingys. I've shown a tendency to take one step forward and two back.... but every once in awhile I manage to get a full stride going before I start to sabotage myself. But that's another story.
I do thank you for your insight and those questions that got me thinking how to explain. I hope this helps ppl to understand me a little better.
Parenting can certainly be anxiety provoking. I have been watching and reading and learning so much. The strength and wisdom here are evident. I am grateful to be welcomed. 
