I am still challenging my anxious thoughts and I am winning. I have been upset about jury duty all day and have taken some positive action. I was letting my fears paralyze me again and I was really getting sick of it. I decided I wasn't going to let them get the best of me and win this time. I decided to get up leave the house and go to the pool and on the way home I decided to stop and get my hair cut. I really think I am beginning to get my fight back. I never thought I would be able to put myself back together again just like Humpty Dumpty. But here I am doing it, and I am winning YAH!!!!
Basically I have been using the 10 question list to challenge my anxious thoughts and this has been helping my analyze them and work through the anxiety and panic. I just take take each anxious thought as they come up and work through it in my head till I have calmed down and can think rationally. I also discuss my feeling with my partner. He has been very supportive. Like this morning the gas and light company came to the door and said they were going to replace my meter which was going to damage my stucco. I got very angry and started raising my voice to this person. I found out what my choices were and made some phone calls. My partner and I talked about it and went back and talked to the repair man and came to a meeting of the minds, as I am typing they are outside replacing my meter. I was able to get my panic and rage under control and not let it fester and eat me up inside. My partner is very handy and will be fixing the stucco. It won't cause that much damage. Using the 10 question list has been the most helpful to me and being determined that I am not going to let this anxiety/panic disorder control me or my life anymore is pushing me forward. I really do want a better life. I am 55 and feel I have no to time to waste. The clock is ticking. Well I have to get go out and see what is going on with my gas meter and stucco now. Talk to you all later.
Congradulations! on making it through your exposure therapy today. Your should be very proud of yourself. You are taking your life back I know it is tiring but it is so worth it and it does get easier with every success. You can really enjoy your ice cream tonight in celebration.
I also find morning difficult to get through. I get the gloom and doom thing and also some depression. I have to fight these feeling most morning. Their is no real truth in them. It does get better as the day progresses. I am glad you brought this subject up. Now I see that I need to challenge this anxious and negative feeling right off first thing in the morning and nip it in the bud. Thanks Jimmy.
This is great progress. You made it through two face to face meeting with different people and were also able to sit in a hospital and wait. This would be very hard for me to do in one day. You should be very proud of yourself and reward yourself in some way. How do you think you like to reward yourself for this achievement?
Yes I have. In my tool box and also in Mod's corner under the thread titled Pledge for the week.
I find this is a good way to set goals for myself and it helps to keep me motivated and if I don't meet my goals I can then analyze why and repeat these goals or I can change them all together if I need to or want to. Everyones goals are unique to them just like we are all unique individuals and are at different points in the program with own issues to deal with. I do not think goal setting should be a completion. I think that everyone goals are valid and important. I do feel goal setting is a important aspect of the program but that you do not have to post them to make them valid or important. These are my feeling on this and I wanted to express my freedom of speech and post this. Which I have just done and I feel good about it. Another goal meet today. I am not going to be afraid to speak out.
I just wanted to let you both know I also have a brother that I have had to cut out of my life. My partner had to cut his sister out of his life also. She was very abusive and demanding and yelling and screaming on the phone all the time etc. etc.
My brother is a social path and almost ruined my family. After my mother died I called and talked to a counselor I knew through hospice and he agreed with me that the best thing for me to do was to end my relationship with my brother and that it was in my best interests to distance myself from him and anyone in his circle even my son if I had to. Social paths are very cunning and if allowed to will draw everyone in with them and that if my son was not strong enough he could be influenced and hurt by this person. My Brother. I have not spoken to my brother in 3 yrs and it is one of the best things I have ever done for myself in my life. I do not have to be abused by him and my partner does not have to be abused by his sister anymore. They do try to get to us periodically by calling our kids and stirring up trouble. What my dad used to call **** stirring. But our kids seem to be able to see the forest thru the trees now. I do still have nightmares about my brother and mother and all the trouble they caused in my family. I just wanted to post this to let you both know that you are not alone in this and that others out here also have problems with siblings.
I am so glad to hear you are feeling better this morning. Your candle stick sounds beautiful. Maybe you can up load a picture of it for us to see when you are finished with it. I would love to see it. The greenhouse sounds lovely. I too find gardening relaxing and would love to have a green house. I got my house ready to sell 2 yrs ago and have traveled around the country looking for the perfect place to live which would be a property 3 to 5 acres with a shop for my partner and a green house for me. Your place sounds like a little piece of heaven on earth. Enjoy your day working in the shop and putting around your green house. You are truly blessed.
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