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Ashley -> Health Educator
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Communication, Part VI

 

Today, we will explore a strategy referred to as reframing. This technique is also helpful during disputes and to gain better control over anger.

Reframing is about changing perception by understanding something in another way. There are two basic kinds of reframes: context reframing and content reframing. Both can alter our internal representations of events or situations, which permits us to experience the events in other, hopefully, more resourceful ways.

The second type of reframing is content reframing. Content reframing is simply changing the meaning of a situation - that is, the situation or behavior stays the same, but the meaning is changed. For instance, a famous army general reframed a distressful situation for his troops by telling them that "We're not retreating, we're just advancing in another direction."  Another example is the reframing of death. Death is a life event that has different meaning in different cultures, and even many individuals deal with this event in vastly different ways. Some are forever grieving the loss, whereas others are joyous at the now eternal presence of the person's spirit. In other words, different people attach very different meaning and interpretations to the concept of death.

The content or meaning of a situation is determined by what you choose to focus on. An electrical power failure can be viewed as disruptive, a major disaster given all you have to get done. Or it can be viewed as an opportunity to spend some intimate time with your spouse or to have fun with your children finding innovative ways to manage the situation.

A content reframe is useful for statements such as: ‘I get annoyed when my boss stands behind me while I am working.

Notice how the person has taken the situation and given it a specific meaning -- which may or may not be true - and in so doing limits her resourcefulness and possible courses of action.

To reframe this situation, remember the assumption that, “Every behavior has a positive intention” and ask questions such as: “What other meaning could the boss’ behavior have? Or for what purpose does he do it? A possible reframe might be: ‘Is it possible he wants to help and does not know how to offer his assistance in any other way?’

What is the positive value in this behavior? The positive value could be related to the boss’ behavior (as above) or it could be related to the speaker’s behavior. A possible reframe might be: ‘Isn’t it great that you know your boundaries and are not prepared to allow someone to violate them?’

We hope this post has been helpful to you. We now invite members to ask questions and/or post comments!

 

 

Ashley -> Health Educator
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new and scared

Carmen,
 
I really like your thinking.  It is very healthy.  Good luck on going back to work.  Who knows you may actually like it?!?  Maybe seeing all the people work with and being social will be nice.  Lets hope for the best! 
 
You are right you are all very capable and strong people.
 
Ashley
Ashley -> Health Educator
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I haven't been here in a while again.

Hi Lore!
 
Nice to hear from you.  I'm glad your still striving.  What has been some coping strategies that have worked for you?
 
Ashley
Ashley -> Health Educator
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Hello there

Your not alone Carmen!
 
I really felt your pain while reading your post.  You are such a strong and responsible mother for getting your kids involved with that group.  They won't understand now but when they look back they will be proud of how well you are handling your anxiety.
 
I wish I could give you an easy solution but as you know mental illness takes a lot of hard work to cope. Definitely being on this site will be good for you.  Read, read, read. Make sure you complete the program.
 
It seems to me that you really value your independence and personal strength.  So I know this must be extremely difficult for you.  I have a few questions for you to think about and reply to....
 
If you did not have the anxiety how would you change your life?  What would you do differently and what would you do the same?
 
If a loved one was experiencing the same as you. What would you tell them?
 
Ashley
Ashley -> Health Educator
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Moving to another country anxiety

Sonia,
 
I am terrible for this.  I like to look at people. I am a people watcher but when I look at people I am not really thinking, "oh their weird" or "oh what a dumb outfit".  I am thinking "hmmm there is a person living their life".  I look out of interest not out of judgment and I think this is what  most people are like.  When you notice someone looking at you they are simply interested in you.  Try not to worry about it you can't help that you are so interesting to look at
 
Also, if it still bothers you don't look back, try to ignore it. The more you look the more they will look.  Hey, they might even be thinking...""why is that person looking at me?"  If you ignore them they may lose interest and starting looking at someone else.  I hope this helps.
 
A question for you....
 
Ideally if you could be anyone what kind of person would you be at that party?  What would you do differently then you do now and what would you do the same?
 
Ashley
Ashley -> Health Educator
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Fear of interview and fear of being rejected

Interviews are scary for everyone.
 
Try to think of it as a fun thing. You get to be talking about how great you are the whole time! Keep in mind how perfect you are for the school and how much good you can do with the education you gain. Try to stay positive and visualize yourself doing a good job at the interview.
 
Good luck!  You will do great!
 
Ashley
Ashley -> Health Educator
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Red face, red neck!


It is normal to get red or flushed when anxious. Your heart is pumping faster, making blood rush through your body which in turn makes you look flushed.
 
I think it would be a great idea to talk to your doctor.  He could prescribe u something that could mask the physical symptoms of the anxiety.  This way you will not appear that you have anxiety which is good because appearing anxious to other people sometimes can be very anxiety provoing in itself.
 
Ashley
Ashley -> Health Educator
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What are you to anxious to do? How is agoraphobia effecting your life?

Sweatbee,
 
Very good techniques and very good additude! 
Ashley, Health Educator
Ashley -> Health Educator
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Focus on the Positive

  Members,
 
How we feel affects what we’re thinking and what we’re thinking affects how we feel. When we feel good, we think good thoughts. When we think good thoughts, we usually feel even better. Similarly, when we’re scared, we usually have a lot of anxious thoughts. When we start having anxious thoughts, we become even more afraid.  Try to keep your thoughts focused on the positive by engaging in conversation, pleasurable activity or rewarding yourself for good accomplishments. 
 
Ashley,
Health Educator

 

 

Ashley -> Health Educator
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A good day

I'm glad you had a good day.  You had some very good achievements you should feel proud of yourself.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your partner.  Have you tried talking to him about how you feel and sharing your achievements with him.  Sometimes people have trouble understanding mental illness. He may need your support in this area.   
 
I hope you have a great weekend.  Happy Friday!

 
Ashley, Health Educator