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Posts created by Roxie451 (Shy One)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

Hiya folks. :)

Hey everyone; I'm new here and kind of shy... I quit Feb. 4th of this year (for the 4th time) and MAN, it's been hard! I'm really inspired by all the people who have quit and stayed quit. Hopefully I can accomplish the same.

I've been smoking for 12 years. Honestly, I've only made one other, half-hearted effort to quit, which lasted for a month. That was about 6 years ago and, at that point, I hadn't done my research and just assumed that my withdrawal symptoms were here to stay and weren't worth the quit. I'm fairly sure I was wrong!

This time, I'm watching my blood sugar and finding healthier ways to spike it than via nicotine. I'm keeping the pleasure/dopamine centers of my brain occupied (mostly). I am eating a balanced diet, treating myself to peppermints whenever I feel a craving, and whenever I REALLY feel a craving, I take a drag off a non-nic electronic cigarette, AKA water vapor. Screw you, Pfizer--I'm going generic! Now, I've been puffing full-nic e-cigs interchangeably with full-nic "analogues" since August, so this is a big step. No nicotine, no smoking...........................no casualties! (Yet.....)

Today has been especially rough, so I called a Quit line, got drunk, talked to a friend, and then decided to post here. So... Hiya folks! :) My nature is much less murderous than the effects of my recent nicotine deprivation might suggest. ;)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

Hiya folks. :)

Hi everyone! Wow, thank you for all the responses and support! :) It feels good here...and it's awesome to get perspectives from so many different viewpoints. I'm not sure what else to say right now except that I REALLY appreciate that you all took the time to reply and share.

I'm going to lurk for a bit and get some sleep, and I'll definitely be back. Thanks again! :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

Irrational Fear

**Big ole bear hugs JoDee and eya**

eya, I'm sorry for your losses... I guess what I'm about to say is kind of selfish... Your words really inspired me, though... Like you said, these past couple of weeks have really shown me how strong I can be without the cancer sticks... And I bet it feels really good to realize how strong you really are... You're going through Hell...and you're doing it without a crutch.

JoDee, I hear you on the irrational fears. I'm prone to them with or without the cigarettes (mostly without). Ohhhh man it's been crazy since Feb. 4th!!! I've been seeing things, hearing things...name a sense and it's messed up. Hell, I might do this quitting thing again just to feel this stoned, again, for free! (JUST KIDDING!!!!) Seriously, what I'm trying to say is that I think irrational thoughts are normal once in a while, and that they will pass with time, just like cravings do. I was thinking of a way I would counter a thought like that... I mean, obviously, your body is healing itself... but when it's hard to believe that, see if it helps to tell your inner junkie that you're not gonna do take any ADDITIONAL risks. Nope, no way, no how.

Heh... To think I logged in here all angry, full of hot air, about to light up because I stubbed my toe. (LOL!) Always a humbling and inspiring experience around the corner. To be fair, I REALLY stubbed my toe. Like, frozen-veggies-on-the-foot, glad-I-have-the-day-off-tomorrow, wish-I-had-medical-insurance stubbed my toe. But still... nothin' like you guys have got going on. So if y'all can hold on, so can I!!!

So hooooold on!!!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

Hiya folks. :)

Thanks again guys! :) I gotta say, it feels really good to have come this far. Granted, when I look at the achievements and see the five-year master one, I sometimes feel like I haven't done much at all by comparison. :(

So I stopped comparing, and instead I'm celebrating how far I've come. :)

I'm celebrating every single moment that I don't light up one of those f****** things.

...Or, on some days, I celebrate how far I've managed to claw my way up the wall! XD I find that it's somewhat comparable to rock climbing.

By the way, my friend who was supposed to quit with me hasn't reached her time yet. So there I was this morning, in the smoke shop, rolling her a carton of smokes! And I didn't have a single one... Not even the "herbal, tobacco-and-nicotine-free" cigarettes! Just popped a couple peppermints. Go me. Crispy chicken wraps for lunch = tasty reward.

Sorry if I sound conceited, but I stubbed my toe really bad and I've had a few shots. And now I'm starving, so I'm going to go make myself a couple of tuna salad sandwiches.

Thanks for being here! :) :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

cold turkey!

I hope you have a good day today. :) Glad to hear that you're feeling better. Doing anything special?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

Hiya folks. :)

Good morning :)

Alcohol and cigarettes seem to hit almost the same buttons in my brain... I don't usually drink this much, although I definitely have in the past! Fortunately, I find it much easier to say NO to a drink than to a cigarette, so when the time comes to ease off the whiskey, I'll be ready. I've done it before for the heck of it and went dry for six months. That was a long time ago and I'm still a very cheap date because I lost my tolerance! lol

I'm doing the program every day. I do the daily cravings journal, and I think I'm almost ready to make my pledge. As far as rewards go, I think I've been nicer to myself overall, so that has definitely helped. I try to mix rewards with something that's beneficial to me, and that provides me with something that the cigarettes used to. Let's see...

+ I play puzzle games online. So I'm re-training my brain to stay sharp and focused without being dependent on a substance.

+ I'm a lot more likely to permit myself healthy snacks and food other than beans and rice. Physically, I feel SO much better. Since I eat throughout the day, my blood sugar stays at that nice, energetic level. AND my metabolism shouldn't be slowing down (again, because I eat frequent, small meals/snacks).

+ This week, I will be using the dryer when I do laundry! Mmmm, soft towels...

+ And I'll be scheduling a dental cleaning. It's been... um... a while...

I'm having trouble coming up with something bigger than this for my two-week reward. I know that my one-month reward is getting my hair professionally dyed to its original color (which will save money in the long run anyway). But I'm sitting here on a Sunday morning, trying to figure out what it is that I want to do for myself and drawing a blank. I don't want to go all out, but I still want it to be somewhat significant.

Oh, DUH! I have Netflix! Woo-hoo! It's officially movie day! I've been putting off way too many movies, and some of them WILL get watched today. At least 2 or 3. :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

How?s she goin? b?ys?

Hi Ready,

Congrats on your quit!

I've never smoked with the intention of losing weight, and during my past quits I was never worried about gaining any. I simply never concerned myself with it and chalked things up to a naturally high metabolism. And lots of physical labor...warehouses...home remodeling...etc. Anyway...

This time, I am concerned, mostly because my boyfriend is a VERY visual guy and I have a sit-down job. I wouldn't say he's shallow; that's just who he is. Well, here's some text copied directly from an e-mail I sent him yesterday:

"Honestly, I'm not all that worried about gaining a few pounds. I would MUCH rather be slightly overweight and healthy, happy, and focused than in the God-awful, malnourished state I've been in off-and-on for 5-6 years now. If my cravings for food are any indication of what I've done to myself, it's a problem...and I'll be lucky if I didn't slightly digest any vital structures."

I truly believe that nearly everyone has their own, naturally ideal weight. I've been smoking since I was 16, so I don't know what mine is...but whatever it is, I'm going to accept it. With healthy eating habits and exercise, of course. :)

If people can't or won't accept a healthier version of me, then they are a hazard to my health, and are therefore NOT WORTH MY TIME!

So far, my sweetie has been extremely supportive. I hope that you, too, will choose to keep people in your life who support a healthier, happier you!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

cold turkey!

Hi everyone! How are your weekends going? JoDee, how'd ya do at the party? eya, I love the "weakened" reference... so true. Cozmo & Megan, are y'all still out there?

Ugh... my weekend has been rough so far. Two days into Week 4 and I'm crawling up the walls again. This was my third day of crying my eyes out until I finally turned to my buddy Evan Williams and came here. So I'm still nicotine-free and smoke-free.

My local smoke shop, where I used to get my tobacco and filters, sells non-nicotine herbal cigarettes. I was really tempted to try a pack this past Saturday but then I thought, "I'm doing all this work, my lungs are clearing up...why do that to myself?" ...And besides, who knows what I'd be inhaling... I decided to stick with my water vapor.

I'm SO glad you guys are here...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

cold turkey!

Shevie and eya, you guys are great...I am really, really, really happy I'm not alone in this. Well, not really ALL that happy, because I wouldn't wish this mental state on anyone (OK, maybe a few people), but grateful to know that this is...uh...normal...

Shevie, I don't think it sounds corny to embrace this. Actually, it kind of reminds me of when I had an abscess...I had to have it drained and about 2 feet of medical packing shoved into the wound every other day. I'd just kind of relax and let go and breathe...It was a lot easier to handle that way. So yeah...I get it.

eya, I'm really glad you posted, because I'm having a similar experience and it helped a lot to read your post. Earlier today I was even wondering if I would qualify for days off under the Family and Medical Leave Act! Then I remembered that I work as an independent contractor and that, like you, I HAVE to show up!

I can potentially take off Friday night and Saturday afternoon. I hate to do that, but at this point I feel that it's justified. I need to lighten some of my workload so that I can get through this.

Another reason I'm glad you posted is that you reminded me that, especially right now, I need to be my own best friend! I'm extremely prone to beating myself up, and I just realized how many horrible things I've said to myself this week... No wonder I'm crying my eyes out... I'm not even sure I'm allowed to repeat them on these message boards!

I think I owe myself an apology and some TLC...I will if you will!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 45

cold turkey!

Hang in there eya!!! I so want to buy you an external hard drive for your 1-month so that you can back up all your data.

Speaking of /Format B(rain): I've been feeling out of sorts with that, too. I was feeling like I was not myself without the d*** cancer sticks. Then a friend of mine told me that I had already learned and internalized everything that I am with the cigarettes. That the cigarettes were just a way of allowing myself to be what I already am. And that, like any good mentor, therapist or teacher, the cigarettes can now go on their merry way, having helped make me what I am.

Granted, that's a pretty nice way to describe poison wrapped in paper...and maybe that's giving those things too much credit. But what else was he going to say while I'm curled up on the bathroom floor, crying "I MISS MY FRIENDS!" (God, that sounds demented...) Anyway, it helped me see that I can be myself, that I do NOT have to strip myself of my identity just because I no longer smoke. I just have to associate strength, individuality and confidence with something other than cigarettes now. I know that, ideally, I should associate those things with myself. Why does that seem so hard??? LOL!

In other news, I've been awake for an hour and I haven't yet cried. Then again, the day is young. But so far it's going OK. I can do this. I can get out there and...um...interact...with people.

Have a good day everyone!

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