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Depression impacts my relationship by hijacking my emotional state of mind, inciting sabotaging thoughts, and draining my partners empathy and compassion. I'm a dramatic person on the best of days, but when I really get bogged down in a depressive state, I feel like everything is going to fall apart, nothing is good enough in my relationship, and I become more self critical as well. Irrational thoughts are predominant such as Im not pretty or thin enough, I dont know enough about his hobbys or interests, he will just break up with me so why are we even together. Recently this has caused a significant rift and my partner spoke to me with an uncharacteristically hard love approach saying that I just need to get my stuff together, and choose to be happy because I am otherwise going to continue this cycle of depression and it's really quite hard on him to deal with. He also has depression so we often trigger it in each other. I think, for whatever reason, I work better under pressure and this "do something or I cant deal" ultimatum actually has helped light a fire under my butt to take some steps towards healing. It's strange when empathy, sweetness, understanding, and kindness only create a soft spot to land for a depressed version of me and seem to perpetuate the state. They are pparently not traits that are as helpful in my significant other as I thought I needed.