For years now I seem to be attracted to unavailable men. I'm not sure if it's because "all the good ones are taken", if it's because I like what other women like, if it's because I like the challenge or if it's because I have a fear of commitment. As you might be able to understand, it is very difficult to find someone to talk to about this as most people will judge me even though I am wanting to find the reason for my attraction so I can change my behaviour. There are lots of different layers to what I am feeling right now but this is probably one of the thickest ones. I get "high" on the chase, the interest, the new but then when it falls through I feel rejected, "not good enough", broken which spirals me into drinking and spending (retail therapy).
