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Back Again :)

Lynn123

2022-08-10 8:07 PM

Managing Drinking Community

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Quitting again! Anyone else?

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2022-08-06 3:17 PM

Quit Smoking Community

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Alcohol and Nutrient Deficiencies

Ashley -> Health Educator

2022-08-03 5:46 PM

Managing Drinking Community

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Pleasant Activities

Ashley -> Health Educator

2022-08-03 5:44 PM

Quit Smoking Community

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11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi I´m Sunny

Hi everyone, i have quite a long story to tell so bear with me.
 
I am 26 years old, and this last year has been a roller-coaster of a ride, 15 months ago i met a girl, I'll call her A, she was a very cool person, very relaxed and chilled, pretty.
 
about two months into our relationship, i went to kenya with three close friends, this was a trip we had arranged a few months before i met A. While i was in Kenya i met a girl, now nothing happened between us, we became friends and added each other to facebook. a few days after we parted ways she left a message on my facebook wall stating she missed me and hoped the rest of vacation went well. my girlfriend became a little bit jealous and upon my return her behaviour had changed. Oh and i forgot to mention that i lost my job due to recession the day i came back (December 20, merry christams sunny, dont come back).
 
after about two months of distrust and working on our relationship i started to realize that A was a little bit crazy, she smashed my car window in a drunken rage and after multiple apologies we got back together, A then decided she hated my friends and made it perfectly clear that it was either them or her,  i, unwisely, picked her. then her birthday rolled around, A got really drunk and punched me in the face, i picked up my stuff and began to leave, as i was doing this she broke down and revealed that she had been raped as a child. Now, I consider myself to be a decent guy and tried to help her, took her to the hospital, met up with the psychiatrist, therapy but she started using the rape as an excuse to take advantage of me, i got myself into debt buying her presents, gave up ALL of my friends and family to spend every moment with her.
 
Due to being out of work,  i put on a bit of weight, got a little lazy and all of a sudden my right leg starting hurting, i ignored this until one day i was driving home over a bridge and the whole right side of my body went numb, i managed to pull my foot off the accelerator with my left arm and used my left leg to pull over. This was the moment of my FIRST panic attack. As i reflected what happened, i almost died!! i was speeding over a bridge and miracoulsly managed to escape with my life.
 
 i started to get anxiety at this point, i developed a phobia of bridges and avoided driving all together. my girlfriend wasnt very supportive, in fact belittling me and making me feel bad. i decided i had to leave her, this was the point when A threatend suicide if i left her, i didnt believe her so she picked up a knife and promptly stabbed herself in the arm. that clearly got my attention and A knew it, she used the threat of suicide to keep me in the relationship, this is where i developed my post traumatic stress and my depression.
 
 a couple of months ago, A started doing street drugs, cocaine and ecstacy, in my depression i also started to do them, and one night i took too much cocaine and had a taccycardia and ended up in the hospital, this resulted in me having multiple panic attacks every day, aftyer about 7 visits to emergency in 2 weeks the doctor prescribed me ativan. ativan is incredibly addictive and i ended up taking about 100 ativan in four weeks as it was the only way to get through my day at work. it was at this point my girlfriend decided to call my mum and tell her she was pregnant,at the end of the four weeks i went psychotic and really really wanted to commit suicide, but managed to take myself to emergency, where i spent two weeks in a mental health facility. my now ex girlfriend who ISN'T pregnant also beserk and started threatneing my family and we had to take a restraining order against her.
 
i am currently on the mend, i missed 6 weeks of work, and just went back today, i still have anxiety all the time but take anti-depressants and meditate and am getting better. i just found this website yesterday and it has already has helped.
 
im sorry for the length of my story, i really did compress it down and missed a while bunch of details, but i find talking about what happened to me helps as i kept so much in for so long that i feels so good to talk about it.
 
 Sunny
11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi I´m Sunny

Hi everyone,
 
Thank you all for your support, it means a lot to me.
 
I have started the program, i had already done a load of research on anxiety, depression and PTSD and really got into the nitty gritty, i am quite interested in psychology so even though I struggle with anxiety i am intrigued as to how it works and how to control it and how to . I have completed the first topic and the relaxation topic; the box breathing and especially the progressive muscle relaxation techniques have made a wonderful difference (highly recommend if you havent done this yet).
 
I look forward to conversing with you all some more and hopefully i will be able help you too.

One thing that i have learned throughout this process that if you are kind to yourself and those around you and do everything with love, life becomes a lot easier.
 
Sunny
11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi, im summer

Hi Summer,
 
I too was a completely independent person, about a year ago i was in Kenya, camping in the masai mara surrounded by lions and hyena, i loved skydiving, snowboarding and cliff jumping but now after a few emotional setbacks, i have to build up enough courage to drive my car around the block.

I am new to the program as well, been here a couple of days. One thing that really has helped me the past few days is knowing there are so many people that suffer from the same afflictions and that i am not alone;at the same time, every member here wants to get better and wants me to get better too. Every time i log on i feel a wave of love and positivity that comes from this website.
 
The relaxation techniques which are topic 10, i would recommend doing these, i found they really helped me.
 
Just remember to be kind to yourself,
 
Sunny
 
11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Physical Symptoms of Panic Attacks

I have found that not empowering the panic attack has a significant effect, an actual panic attack is caused by anxiety boiling over and fundamentally chemicals being released in your body. Recognizing as soon as possible that i am  having an attack and partaking in meditation, slow and deep breathing, and using affirmations and positive self talk usually stops an attack in its tracks.
 
However; if an attack manages to break through,  my favorite way of rebounding is playing my guitar as loud and as aggressively as i can in order to use up the remaining cortisol and adrenaline in my body and have a bit of fun the requires my full attention.
 
Sunny

11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Question about advancement in CBT

Topic 1 had alot of material that i already knew as i had researched anxiety and panic before, so i completed it and jumped to topic 10 and did the relaxation module because i really wanted tips on how to relax (and it has helped tremendously). i plan on going back to topic 2 tomorrow and taking the full week.
 
Sunny

11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My setback

The past week has been pretty good for me, my general level of anxiety has gone down and I havent had a panic attack in weeks. This weekend just gone was also a good one, i played music with friends all weekend (my favourite thing to do), spent time with family and returned to work; however, last night whilst watching a movie with my friends i started to feel incredibly anxious and left half way through the movie. For those who know my story,  this increase in anxiety just happenes to coincide with my ex-girlfriends birthday and the friends i was with were ones she really hated.
 
Today i have had so much anxiety, i feel on the edge of a panic attack but havent had one...yet. I know that i can control my feelings but i feel physically drained and i have a headache and weird pains allover my body.
 
 i know that there will be setbacks, but after going a few weeks with a continous pattern of progress it is hard to feel like i have takien a step back.
 
Sunny II
11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My setback

Thanks jsquared, your words helped me out alot.
 
The key is to stay positive and smile, :-D
 
Sunny II

11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How to Keep Motivated?

I think jsquared nailed it on the head, being able to see what you want to acheive really makes a difference, that is why i have started making a visualiation board: its easy

The power of visualisation

How to make a visualisation board:

1. Cut out pictures of the things you really want in life (from magazines, travel brochures etc.)
2. Pin them up on a board, or glue them on to a big piece of card board.
3. Put it up on a wall where you can see it every day.
4. Start visualising your ideal life!
5. for the more technology inclined, create a custom screensaver for your computer
 
I'm not going to put anything absurd on it, all achieveable goals i.e i want to be a better musician, so i will put up a picture of a band i want to learn songs of, perhaps put up the titles of a few songs, a picture of cuba (i really want to go), perhaps of a photoshopped picture of me with a rippling six pack (maybe in the distant future lol) etc...
 
When i finish, i am going to put it up on my wall and meditate in front of it twice a day. it will give me something to look forward too, it will remind me why i deserve to get better and what i can achieve in the process.
 
Sunny II
11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The Linden Method?

I know this topic is kind of old but as someone who has read Charles Lindens book and listened to his sessions i thought i would chip in for any future members considering trying his method.
 
Charles Linden suffered from anxiety and panic disorder for 10 years, he didn't leave his home in fear he would have a panic attack and die. He was very much like most of us here. He then discovered a way to rid his panic all together and then wrote a book and made a lot of money.
 
The Linden method is just another form of CBT; however, the most common form of CBT (like the panic center) takes a few weeks and goes by very slowly and methodically and leaving no stone unturned, the Linden method rushes through by telling the listener to force a panic attack and to make it as bad as possible so you can re-program your brain so your brain realizes that panic attacks aren't that bad or dangerous. That is all.
 
In my opinion, this is a method that may work on a few people and not on the rest, i personally would prefer to take my time and make sure that i fully conquered panic as opposed to sweeping it under the rug and giving it an oppurtunity to come back before i have learnt the proper coping skills. CBT will train you to cope and teach you lessons for a lifetime, the Linden Method will help you in the short term but will not prepare you for the future.
 
Sunny II

11 years ago 0 sunhot23 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The BBQ - I did it

that is a totally awesome story and in fact made my night reading that!!
 
debi you should be really proud of yourself and i am really happy for you, i can tell from your writing that you are stoked! good job!!
 
Sunny II