Too many issues at once!
I've had a huge set back. I was actually doing very well with the program at first. I thought I would just put this program on idle for awhile and try to handle the stress and anxiety alone. Well, that has not worked at all.
My husband and I are in financial hardships. We are losing our house. This has been putting a pressure on our relationship. We have been trying to communicate and deal with it as best we can. Talking to each other, and communicating our feelings about the situation. I'm under a huge amount of stress and my panic attacks are now waking me up in my sleep. If the lack of sleep was not enough I know have large amounts of anxiety due to other issues in the house.
The other major issue, besides financial problems, is my stepdaughter. She decided she was going to move out for 3 months and not consult her dad about this. Well, my husband let her without confronting her or asking why. Basically, she wanted to move out and live with her friend & parents. As far as we knew she was doing her homework etc. Well, we found out not too long ago, after she moved back home (once again without consulting us), this was not the case. She decided that she was not going to complete high school. A little background, is that she had a chance to complete high school and college (2-yr degree) at the same time. Now this was her choice. She was not pressured into this. She decided it on her own. Now she decides that it is all our faults that she is not graduating high school because we pressured her into this. Wrong!
This has started a whole issue about her trying to turn my husband against me. And how she has a delusion that I'm trying to turn her dad against her. So this has put huge pressure on my relationship with my husband. My stepdaughter has been caught in numerous lies involving hubby, me and her real mother and her stepfather. Some lies were even posted on a public blog of yours and I found it on accident!
I have been the bigger person and apologized for anything that I might have said or did that caused an issue, but have yet to get an apologize from her. Her dad keeps asking her when she is going to apologize and she keeps using every excuse not to. Everything from I look mad to, I said something to her that hurt her feelings to a whole bunch of other reasons. I have not done anything to her or said anything. In fact, last night was the first time in about 2 weeks we had a conversation that was more then 2 sentences.
It's an emotional mess that I have been trying to keep myself out of. But I keep getting told I'm saying things I have not said, or putting things across in a way that I have not done. Or bringing up past stuff that I have not! I'm tired of being put in the middle of something that is clearly not my fault.
Not only is this giving me panic attacks, but now I'm not sleeping at night, and my appetite is a roller coaster. First I'm starving then I'm not hungry. And the other day I've started crying spells for no reason. I simply don't know what to do anymore.
I refuse to apologize again. There is too much kitchen sinking and counterpunching going on. All my stepdaughter wants to talk about when I confront her is her mother or what her father does. She is not addressing her issue with me at all. She is dancing around the whole topic. I'm the one with anxiety issues and I don't feel like confronting her again and asking what the beef is, is going to be counterproductive in my healing.
What can I do to fix this or help fix this? Or is there something I can do to make things better? My husband feels I'm not doing enough. Frankly, I'm walking on egg shells in my own house and just want June to come fast so she will move out to live with her "real" mom and this issue will be over. I'm terrible with confrontations and it only causes me to have the even more anxiety!