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MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Think I'm dying.....all the time

Hi all, it is so relieving to hear your stories!

I'm a stay-at-home mother of a two year old, and my husband works 10-12 hour days. I had my first panic attack 1 1/2 months ago, and have been miserable since. I made the mistake of not taking care of myself, isolating myself, and pushing myself to this point. 

It is really encouraging to hear your stories, since I am feeling the same things -- feelings that I'm going to die, very tired in the middle of the day, exhausting anxiety all day, and I hate to go to sleep alone. All of my family is across the country, of whom I miss very much. I'm always thirsty, and I've lost tons of weight, to where I'm too thin. I've been seeing my doctor though, to rule out other things. Although, I have been diagnosed with panic disorder, and diabetes has been ruled out. I take 75 mg zoloft, and 3 .5mg xanax most days. Most of the time I feel like I'm going to either die, go crazy, cry, or that I'm a hypochondriac! 

Thanks again for your encouraging stories. I feel so young to be going through this, at 25 years of age. I've also had scoliosis & GERD for quite some time. 

Hope all of you are doing well -- I'd love to hear more of your stories, and share back and forth. Truly! 






MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Panic Free Nights?

Hi All! I'm new to the panic forum. Thanks for all of your encouraging stories -- your tough stories are also so encouraging, because It makes me feel a little bit more normal  :) I have a lot of stories too. 

Have any of you had panic free nights, and what did you do differently to cause the breakthrough? 

Does writing really help? I feel like when I get writing it is negative, and I'm not so sure how it would help. I end up ruminating on the negative stuff I just wrote.

Talk soon...



 
MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
How did it start?

Hi Pat,

Thanks for sharing your story. 

My panic started 1 1/2 months ago. I had the flu back to back, the second flu being swine flu. My daughter gave them both to me. 

While we both had swine flu, my husband went out of town to China. I was all alone, taking care of the both of us. It was by far the WORST flu I've ever experienced. I remember the day I had my first panic attack -- I was finishing a paper (for an online class), editing videos on my computer for Christmas presents, and watching my daughter all day. I was pushing myself that day -- I had so much to get done, and no one to help (I've moved recently, across country for my husband's work).

I sat on my bed exhausted at the end of the day, wanting to rest but my daughter was still awake. I remember feeling anxious that I still had to take care of her, when all I wanted to do was eat and sleep. Then BAM! it hit me. I thought I was having a heart attack. I called an ambulance, but I couldn't go with them because no one is allowed to ride in an ambulance with you. If I went, my daughter would have been picked up by a police officer and would have became property of state, or child services (is that the right term?) So, I called a far-away friend of my husband's who came from an hour away, who so kindly drove to my house, and then we all went to the hospital. The doctor said it was palpitations and mitral valve prolapse (but I've since seen a cardiologist, who says I don't have one... go figure). 

I'm a stay-at-home mom, and I'm not sure but I think my anxiety is aimed towards my daughter. I'm in excruciating anxiety all day, and I also watch her all day. It's terrible -- I'm usually a very on-top-of-it mom, always caring, loving, doing everything. But not lately, I feel miserable all day every day. 

When I was breastfeeding my daughter her first entire year, I lost too much weight for which also made me anxious. I am way too thin and attempting to gain weight. It's hard -- my stomach always hurts from my GERD and hiatal hernia. 
But I remember feeling like she literally sucked the life from me. My body has been worn down since I stopped breastfeeding, but me and the hubby have been doing SO much (work work and work, moving, etc.) I didn't stop to take care of myself, and get back to good health. I also lost 6 pounds from the swine flu. 


Anyhow -- Thanks for listening. 


MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
How did it start?

Colleen -- do you have a hard time gaining weight also?

I'm also too low in weight, and the anxiety seems to be keeping me from gaining my weight back. I'm 5'9" and 118 lbs. 
MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Pledge for the week

Red, 

Your trip sounds wonderful. I live in the city but I miss nature, where I feel closer to God, also. My heart and soul belongs back in the country someday. Good job on your exposure work!

MC


MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Think I'm dying.....all the time

Hi Ashley, 

Thanks for your encouragement. 

I've been going through a lot the past couple years, physically and mentally. My pregnancy was tough mentally -- I went from a double major in college and a great job, to being a full-time mom -- my daughter was a surprise. I was not  married yet. I had many struggles during my pregnancy, losing friends, and my boyfriend (at the time -- now my husband) had to travel back and forth a lot, leaving me at home often -- sometimes for a month at a time. 

Then, we moved about a year ago, from west coast to east coast. It's been a really tough transition -- I'm very close to my family, none of which live here. I've had a hard time making friends, and I have to be home a lot, since my husband works so much. I don't get a lot of time for myself, and I often feel isolated. I've lost a ton of weight -- due to breastfeeding, and not eating enough due to anxiety and depression. I'm trying to get back on track though! Protein shakes, snacking often, etc.

I've never had panic symptoms before my first attack, although I've dealt with GAD previously. I used to have anxiety attacks, but they went away after I started taking Zoloft and I employed some anxiety-reducing techniques. I stopped taking zoloft maybe 4 or 5 years ago, and have since started back up to treat my panic disorder, along with xanax. 

I also have GERD (hiatal hernia, gastritis, esophogitis) & scoliosis, and my doctor suspects that my GERD may be adding (or triggering?) my panic. 

Panic is an obstacle that I'm ready to tackle -- it's just scary that the symptoms are there all day every day, Unlike anxiety disorder, which would surface every now and again and became very manageable. With panic I feel like something is very, very wrong with my body -- except no one can find anything wrong.

Anyhow -- I've written alot! I hope to hear more from everybody, hopefully my story can be comforting as everyone else's stories have been to me.

MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Panic Free Nights?

Hi Davit,

Thank you for your input -- it is greatly appreciated. I will check out your blog. You have some really encouraging tools in your explanation, thank you. I'm going to use them when I can, where necessary. I'm really a beginner here, so it feels like an awkward first step in a multi-step program, but I'm looking forward to some relief   :)

You are right when you say that anxiety disorders don't happen overnight. I recently had a friend say that the anxiety didn't happen overnight -- Therefore it won't undo overnight (Boy, do I wish!)  My panic has been a long time coming.

Hope all is well on your end -- thanks again for the encouragement.

MC



MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Panic Free Nights?

Ashley, 

Thanks for your input. Those seem like great questions to start with! I was starting to feel hopeless when I was journaling. 

MC
MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Thanks for reading

Hi All -- 

I think I've posted a lot today -- my first day really checking out the forums :)

My daughter is resting peacefully upstairs, so I've been having little moments where I can escape here -- which has already been providing me with some relief, just by reading your thoughtful stories. 

I'm a 25-year-old stay at home mom. I moved across the country almost exactly a year ago, with my new husband. Our little girl is 2 and 4 months. 

I've had panic disorder for only a month and a half. It all started when I was home alone with my daughter, and we were both sick with the swine flu. I thought my panic attack was a heart attack.

The panic doesn't define me -- although in my recent days it has been very tough not to let it.

Normally, I'm a very loving, caring, gentle person. I adore my family -- really, they are all wonderful (sometimes crazy) people. They don't live near, so I skype often :) 

My daughter looks just like her father. It's wild.

I adore ADORE anything to do with the outdoors. Hiking, Camping, Skiing, Snowboarding, Walking, Playing...Being. Although, I don't live near any for now. 

I have a strong faith in God, especially more recently. In fact, if any of you do also, I'd love to chat. If not, we can just share our life stories  :)

Talk soon...

MC






MissyChrissy
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9 years ago 0 MissyChrissy 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
New here

Tin,

Thanks for sharing your story. 

I encourage you to explain your anxiety/panic to your family and close friends. I have told my family, and a few close friends -- and really, I could not be doing this without them. On your bad days or bad moments, you may be able to visit them or call them, and they can support you through your tough times. I imagine with the ones that understand, you'll be able to find some respite and relief in their encouraging words. If at the very least, some company when you feel alone.

I guess you have to be selective in who you tell -- and if any of your friends are indifferent to your disorder, I would imagine that they are either selfish or not a good friend. 

Hope this helps... 


MC