Very good possitive attitude. You know that, that is half the battle. Someone else here said "if you raised your blood pressure exercising you would think nothing of it so why during a panic attack? " Well because it's a panic attack and nothing then is rational. I have one advantage over you. Because I have Arthritis I have pains in my arms and chest often so when they came from the panic it was easier to say "this is Ok." If you manage to think of it as just an inconvenience like a cold or the flu it will just fade away. Easier said than done I know but Ive been there so I know it can be done. You sound much better in this post. That's progress and progress deserves praise so congratulations. You may need the meds just so you can think rationally. This is Ok, they can be tapered off and quit later. First fix the panic. I no longer take anything stronger than Mint tea. You will be able to get off them. Good luck with the program, it does work even if some of it may seem unnecessary. Every little bit helps. Especially the journalling part. Please keep posting even if it seems you have nothing to say. Posting is one of those things that helps everyone.
I don't think coffees the problem, I think it's when you have it! If you enjoy coffee then why not use it as a reward. Like after you successfully do something you don't want to. Did you know that dark roast coffee has less caffein. (it takes less coffee to get that dark colour and coffee taste.) That's why coffee house coffee always tastes burnt.
When I was on Meds, if they made me sleepy I'd fight the sleep and the panic would get worse. What worked for me was smaller doses more often. The ups and downs aren't so bad either then.
There is a site called drugs.com where you can get all the information you need on drug interactions, including vitamins and foods. I find it very useful you can also put in a list of all your meds and any vitamins or foods you are concerned with and you can save it also so you can edit it any time. Hope this is some help to you. Careful with the B complex large doses can make you worse. Magnesium should be balanced with calcium. No iron with calcium. No calcium with meals. It binds to iron. Over a long period can cause anemia.
I've been there but not so bad as you. The way these people work it is so you think it's your fault and you will dwell on that instead of thinking rationally and you will back out. I wish you could think "I'm going to win, I'm right, He's playing a game with me, I'm special, I can do better." etc. can you use that as a mantra to keep the other thoughts out. Love is strange. It's possible to love some one and not like them, been there done that. Some times it hurts to get out and start over. You need some time to think about it, but mostly you need an unbiased person to tell you how it looks to them because the situation is clouding you. I sure as the h--l won't tell you what to do. Like everyone else here, I'm on your side what ever you deside to do and you go into that court room with your head up because your not alone. We're there with you even if you can't see us. It sounds like you have it in hand so just go and win. And if you start to panic and get flustered take a deep breath and remember we're there with you.
Aint that a B---ch. You know that is one of the lingering things left over from the panic that still creeps up. I have annoyed my doctor no end with tests for every thing. Good thing in Canada they're free. I probably have Hypocondriac stamped on my forehead as a warning to other doctors. So now I'm trying to tell my self that all these odd symptoms are normal aging. Some times when it won't just p--s off I have to tell myself that if times up I better enjoy whats left after all none of us have a say in this. So eat healthy, get plenty of sleep (preferably not by yourself) and enjoy life to the fullest. And sneak in the odd treat even if it's not good for you. And hopfully when you eventually die you won't know it happened.
OK, But how do you deal with a partner that is a cronic complainer,or for that matter a friend or relative. And how about the devils advocate. It can be very stressful dealing with some one who argues black is white just because that is there idea of conversation.If it's in the coffee shop, well then fine just leave. But in the home? And some people won't admit they do this. And if you don't argue back then you get accused of negligence. Then there are the people who get rid of there stress by putting it on your shoulders. I have some one who does that to me. It can take a perfect day and just destroy it. And this person is a close relative so I have to put up with it. And if I comment on it then I don't get talked to for months. It's a lose, lose situation. The only answer seems to be don't get into the situation in the first place. Saying sorry only goes so far. Besides some people don't hear it any way. Some people only hear what they want to. How do you deal with them? Or is it me? Is there something wrong in me that makes me walk away from these, what I call destructive relationships.
I've lived with Arthritis for over twenty years and it has curbed a lot of the activities I used to do. But the worst thing was losing my supposedly friends. It was like I was contagious or had leprosy. I started to feel really useless and worked harder to prove I wasn't. I became very competitive but it didn't help. As I went down hill both phisically and mentally I became reclusive. I spent more time Gardening and tried challenging things to stimulate my mind and body. I put up a green house and grew watermellon and Cantaloupe and other exotics. I live in north east British Columbia so this was a definite Challenge. In the garden I grew pumpkins. In the coffee shop when I mentioned it people would shrug it off and say "I tried that it doesn't work." I filled my basement with woodworking tools when I found I had a knack for that. (can"t garden in the winter). The Arthritis has caused me to slow down and look at life with a different perspective. And I cultivated a whole different class of friends. When people showed an interest I'd give them vine ripe cantaloupe or wood work. I have people I don't even know telling me some one gave them a taste of my Cantaloupe Or they want to know how I make my wine. I got my fifteen minutes of fame when My model of a steam locomotive was photographed and wrote up in the local paper. (A scale model, not a toy). I had put it in a local woodwork show. When I look in the mirror I still see a Bent and twisted body but I no longer see some one useless. I see some one with skills that are different. I have something to offer. Every one has something that they are really good at, it just takes time to find what it is. So do I have low self-esteem? Nope, not any more I know who I am and I'm happy with me, I just wish I wasn't so crippled. Be happy, It's hard to fight anxiety and panic when your not. And now I have to drag my butt outside and plow last nights snow off the driveway since no one is going to do it for me.
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