Thanks for the input, I had a rough day yesterday cause my gf went to the next town to be in a parade and was gone all day. I stayed at my sister's apartment. Today she's off again to seaworld she'll won't be back till tomorrow. As far as where I am at on the program I've kinda gotten stuck on exposure. It seems for every step forward it takes me two steps back. Yesterday was hard even though I was with my sister. I continue with negative thoughts. My sister is an alcoholic, she sleeps all day, her car is old and in an emergency it could strand us ... etc. pure negativity. I've been working on that. Trying. She is more easily manipulated, if I need to flea she'll respond, which again is the wrong choice. It enables me. So today I'm gonna stick it out with my father who had anxiety when he was younger but has not really been as compationate as I'd prefer him to be. He won't respond when I have a panic attack and that makes me feel more insecure but, I believe he does it for my own good. I know he loves me. For twenty years it's been just me and him through the bad and the good and hopefully now worse. If I have anything to share about my experience with anyone it's don't enable yourself. Don't stop driving because starting back up is harder than you might think. Don't avoid anything it maybe that you are avoiding. Don't stop living. Oh and don't read too many medical books lol. The less you know the easier it will be if you're a constent worrier. I thank you all for being so positive and just being here. I'm so glad I found this site and it has been there when I have had nowhere else to turn. Thank you!
Yeah I read them, and they do help but at the moment of my PA I sometimes need to be reminded (usually by my gf) but it does help ... and after being reminded constantly I think it's becoming more apparent how untrue my thoughts really are.
Just read your postings. I know it's hard to open up how you did. I also understand that it helps to say what's on your mind. The neighbor story really struck a chord with me .... I can relate. I had teachers discriminate against me .... one even told me I would be a loser when I grew up. These are people we respect, and it really hurts. Life's hard enough as it is. Don't allow someone to make it harder. I'll be praying for you tonight.
I tried going back to work .... I was working as a cna in a nursing home. Everyday was difficult ..... at least to get there. Once I was there I was fine. Finally I allowed my anxiety to overcome me .... again.... i quit. So my gf kicked me out and now I'm wondering what to do now? I wish I could work from home .... but that would just be enabling.
I hadn't been on in a long time .... I thought that I was currently at my worst. Looking back at some of the things I'd writtened in the past though has made me realize how far I have come. It feels pretty good. My way of thnking has changed drastically. I see alot of negativity in what I wrote. I think I'm gonn be allright. Thank you all for your support, and just taking the time to respond.
Thanks everyone for your comments. I really appreciate it. I've come to a time in my life when I feel everyone has abandoned me (with the exception of my sister). My father won't talk to me because I won't play music anymore, I just cant go and play in these small towns out in the middle of nowhere. My girlfriend took my keys to the apartment and the cars since they're under her name. So now I'm stranded with nowhere to go. I need to work but, I can't. What to do? Any ideas?
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