Grapeseed, Gus
I hear you on work stress. It has gotten the better of me on many occasions. In the past, I really haven’t handled any stress very well. Booze was my go to therapy. One thing I can give some advice on since my sober mindset has changed me is this. Work is only one part of your life, important but not important enough to let it hurt your future or your family. I wouldn’t say I’m an overly religious person but I can say that since I’ve started focusing on being thankful every day, I focus less on less important things. I think about what my priorities are and how much time I’m giving to those things, in action and thought. I’ve struggled with saying no to my work mates and other friends too when I feel pressure from them. I’ve learned that I can’t make everyone happy and I know what’s most important to me. The choices I make now are with that in mind. We can all rise above alcohol. It’s in our past.
Another day sober!
John
Gus, thanks for asking! I’m doing ok. I’ve had some cravings this week, or thoughts about drinking again but I’m happy to say that I didn’t take that first drink and the cravings did pass. How have you been this week? I heard something very interesting this week. Don’t be afraid of cravings, my sponsor said, it’s a good reminder that you need to remain vigilant. The moment you forget is the very moment it can sneak up on you.” Ive never thought of it like that before but it’s helpful I think. What do you think? Last time I quit, I would panic when I thought of it, but now I’ve learned to really be honest with myself, identify the feeling and let it pass. How do you manage drinking thinking? My wife will use that on me now and then as a joke. Thinking drinking? Think again. I would be angry about that last year but I find it a little funny now, maybe because she’s way more fun and not angry when im sober. I’m really liking the stability of my life these days. Hope you are too!
Lynn, I hear you on change. It has been a big obstacle for me, to think of myself as a guy who just doesn’t drink. I’m starting to like myself as a non drinker though. A few dads in my neighborhood don’t drink at all because of their religious beliefs and I’m happy to have met them. I spend more time around them now and I can see that they have a very full life without drinking. I don’t have to be fake around them or lie to keep them happy. This is such a positive change for me. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.
John
Grapeseed,
I’ve been there. Made many mistakes like that. Important thing I learned is to recognize when situations like this come up again, I make a better choice. Truth is I had to make new friends that were in line with what I want for my life. My old friends are good guys mostly, but my sobriety isn’t their problem or their priority. They also don’t truly know the extent of the issues that booze has caused in my life as may be the case with you, Sometimes they would say things( while meaning well) to make me feel better but really would minimize my problem - not good. One of my good mates also liked to minimize it because he had a problem too and I think laughing at it helps him to stay in denial of his issues. Same guy would try and push my buttons and say I needed more freedom when I would opt out of pub invites or the like. Yes, thats exactly what I need, to be drunk with my middle aged mates acting like we did when we were were 19. No thanks. Plenty of people live a great life without drinking or drugs,People who support your efforts are much easier to be around, Grapeseed. If that means new group, then it’s worth it.
still sober John
Foxman, I’m reading the big book again. It took everything I had the last few days - I basically slept, ate and planned my weekend so I was always with someone in my family who knows that I can’t drink. Last week was difficult- began family therapy. I know it is needed but it was much harder than I thought. The therapist was trying not to be judgmental, I could see that but the shame was overwhelming. I’m not the same person when I drink. I’m a good father, husband and son most of the time but what kind of man drinks when he knows he will lose control and hurt his family? I’ve never intentionally done this but I have caused much anxiety and instability I’m our home, I can’t understand how they have forgiven me sometimes, I don’t deserve it, but I am thankful. They will never have to be embarrassed or afraid again. I won’t allow myself to be in any situation that might tempt me again,.
J
