I smoked too much while watching movies so when I went to bed I couldn't
sleep,- endorphines on a roll. The good thing is that I got down to 17 all day
yesterday. Myth of Sisyphus, up one step; back down two. I really am experimenting and
is fact that my life has been a constant high on addictions of one sort and
another; not living in the real world but rather a world of defense mechanisms
and fantasies. That trip to be so tough while in actual fact a cream puff
mentality throughout the journey. The question now, Is there a real, me behind
the facade and will I like her after recovery. Remains to be seen.