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Posts created by Collina

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

minute by minute

I planned to quit today, but actually had my last smoke on Saturday night, went to bed saying "that's it". This isn't the first time, but praying it's the last. Things are really, really stressful at home, but they'd be stressful anyway, smoking isn't going to solve the problems. Maybe my quitting is the only thing I can control, and I plan to do just that, tired of being controlled by my addiction, and ready to take charge and be the one in charge. Small cravings...

Collina

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Your guide to quitting ? Final Preparations

When, Where and Why?

In the car, anytime, anywhere (as long as I'm by myself)
Mostly in the evening, always if a cocktail is involved
As a reward, just get this (dishes, laundry, dinner cooked) and I'll step outside
On the phone, but again in the evening, probably avoiding conflict with my husband
Very occasionally I used to leave work to smoke, during a really stressful day

What am I going to do instead??

I'm not sure what I'll do differently, other than recognize that whatever the situation, it's going to pass whether I smoke or not, and I'd rather not. I will have cold water, carrot sticks and the vision of my daughter's face in my head.

I can do this, I can do this and I know I can do this, this is the time!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Self-Discovery and Surviving Heck Week

Everything you said rings true, the car, avoiding social interactions and traveling. I'm hoping to reach the same self discovery and bravery. I just made travel plans that included a short flight, rather than driving. I could have driven and enjoyed the radio and smoking before I arrived at the non-smoking venue, but instead I'm flying and taking public transportation to avoid temptation. See you're already an inspiration!

~Collina

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

On Being of More than Tender Years

I've been revisiting this post, because I know I'm close to the physical poison leaving my body, but why the headaches and cravings? I don't want to smoke, the poison is purged, but I'm craving it.

The psychological journey in front of me is a little daunting, but like I've been telling myself "if I can't control everything, at least I can control this." This isn't my first attempt, but I think this will be the first time I travel this journey with the mindset of "journey" and "discovery", rather than ticking off days and milestones.

Let the self discovery journey begin... well as soon as this headache goes away

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

November is Healthy Skin Month

Now this alone is a great motivator for quitting, better skin. I remember this summer catching a glance at my face in the side-view mirror of my husbands' truck, and I did not like what I saw, didn't recognize myself.
I live in a very dry climate, high altitude, and already have dry skin, so I will welcome this positive reward.
My first week as a non-smoker, I will NEVER have that first cigarette again, it was such a colossal disaster last time, 20 years ago.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Bad sleep and itchy skin

For My Jewels, I have a similar allergy, but seem to be getting over it, as I become more rational. I also have no support or mention from my husband or even teen-age children, but why would they support or even believe I will do this, for good this time? I haven't been successful, until this time. It's totally different this time, easier some how, and I'm really just trying to stay with the non-smoking mindset.

The first 5 days, I stayed in a bubble separate from my husband, in my own space which was calming and soothing, all about concentrating on me. And I will go back to that bubble anytime I need. This time instead of letting the fierce, angry, bubbling craving take me over, I'm putting a visual in my head of a nasty nicotine bug screaming for a fix, but I'm starving it!! So I try to take myself to a quiet place when I feel it coming on and ride it out imagining the bug shriveling up.

No I haven't completely gone crazy, but this is what these ugly, nasty, controlling killer cigarettes have driven me to. I'll NEVER have another first one.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

One Year Smoke Free!!

Absolutely terrific, and an inspiration, I popped in today, because I'm so fighting the craving, URGH!!!!!! Not that I will, but the mental 'it will ease my stress' belief is almost overwhelming. Thanks for your hard work, and giving motivation to continue mine!!

Especially when you said you weren't even sure you wanted to when you started!!!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Bad sleep and itchy skin

I don't know about Glenda the GOOD witch, but probably some kind of witch.

Peteg - I'm laying low at this point, I don't know how I would deal with the EOC (watch for the broom instead) or any type of deployment, that's one of my fears but again I think how much easier will that be? No running out of smokes, sneaking around, bumming, getting interrupted and then embarrassed because someone finds you outside smoking. And coming back in with the rotten smell of cigarettes clinging to my clothes and hair, like I'm hiding anything.
I have a competition this weekend, and I have a little ritual, that includes smoking, so I'm reworking that in my mind also. I know I'll get through it, but those little nicotine bugs keep telling my brain it won't be nearly as much fun (won't relieve the last minute stress) without a smoke. LIARS.

Just keep going, I will never light that first cigarette again! I have a chance to get it right this time.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Hey There :-)

5weeks and cruising into 6 weeks, way to go!! All I have to say is You're a QUITTER!!

Sending positive and healing thoughts to you and your husband all day, keep the faith...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

An Hour

I like the quit meter, I wish it read 510 instead of 10, but I guess I have to get through the first 10 days to get another 500 days.

But to the subject line, ever attend a meeting or something equivalent and walk out of it saying "there's an hour of my life I'll never get back!!", well according to my quit meter I did get one of those hours back! Nice to know, but tomorrow is 'bureaucratic waste day' (meeting), so it will be like 6 hours I'll never get back, except if I calculate correctly, in another 60 days I will have made up for tomorrow. Hmmm... this is working for me.

Sorry too much time on my hands: not searching for lighters, cigarettes, matches, stopping at the store...

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