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Posts created by Azhure

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

New and looking to quit

I've been working through the program here and seems I'm not ready to quit according to the program. I really want to, but still my reasons to quit are not more important than my reasons not to. I'm tired of having nightmares that I have cancer or a stroke. I'm embarrassed that I smoke and that I smell and my teeth are yellow and my breath stinks. I am just so afraid of quitting. I've tried before and well just wasn't prepared for it all. The stress, the cravings, the weight gain.....I have a lot on my plate now...a new job, classes to finish for that job, 2 girls in school and activities, a husband, a household to run...in the past these things suffered when I tried to quit and just gave up the quitting to undo the chaos it created. Does that make sense?

I don't see myself as a smoker (but I do) I am usually embarrassed when new people meet me and find out I smoke. As a parent and a smoker that makes me very self conscious. For some reason though I find it so hard to walk away and in this case to just begin.

I feel torn in two. Sorry the program said to talk to the forum about this so here I am.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

New and looking to quit

Thank you. I needed to hear that. I read your post and congrats on your good health! I have been reading and playing tug-o-war with my mind. The more I read about all of you and how happy you all sound the more my reasons to quit get more important. Thanks again for you reply. You've given me a lot more to think about...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

New and looking to quit

Thank you all for your replies. I had a lot of time to think about this at work (can't smoke there). Well let me start from the beginning.

First I thought "Oh heck! I've done this before. The only thing I've ever done wrong is not stick to it" So about an hour later I'm getting ready for work and literally practically had a panic attack about the fact that I wouldn't smoke on the way to work and have to spend 8 hours till after work to have one! So I freak out leave early for work and get some smokes.

OK now that was stupid. Really what was the point? I smoked a cigerette because I was freaked out about quitting? Really how am I going to get anywhere with that stargity in mind? So I thought long and hard the next 8 hours on what in the world I'm going to do?

So I get home....then I read all of your posts and realize "hey I'm not alone here. If these guys can do it....so can I. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. The only thing I'm doing is procrastinating and well just gotta get it done. The sooner I quit the sooner this nonsense will be over"

So tomorrow is my quit day as right now I am turning in to bed. The first thing tomorrow is that I will be here instead of putting on warm clothes with the sleep in my eyes and my hair sticking up to get a smoke outside in the freezing snow. I'll rub the sleep out of my eyes and read and post and well just NOT SMOKE!

I am afraid of freaking out though, but I'll deal with that "if" it happens then.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 0
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 0
Amount Saved: $0.00
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 0 Mins: 3 Seconds: 38

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

First day....

Well today is the first day. I have been a smoker for almost 15 years. I have been up to a pack a day for about 5. I have tried to quit several times in the past. I've read everything on the net, read every book I could find, and tried almost every quit smoking aid. I have never been able to make it stick. My longest quit was for 3 months on Chantix.

I have two girls 9 and 6. I never was able to quit during those pregnancy, but was down to 3 a day or less. They are both healthy and happy little girls. Although I'm sure they wished their mommy didn't smoke. I don't smoke in my house, never have because my husband is a non-smoker (both his parents were chain smokers who have recently quit because of a health scare)

Most of my friends are non-smokers and I have only one sister that smokes. I grew up around smoking though because many of my older relatives smoked and my grandfather smoked a pipe into his 50s. My parents do not.

So why do I? I thought I'd try it when I was 18 and could buy my own. Made me sick and throw up! Never touched it again till I went to school the next fall. I had major anxiety living in the city (I was a country girl with a sheltered life) and I found that just one helped me relax enough to go to sleep at night. Then there was the one to wake up and then so on. Was only about 5 a day until I tried to quit 6 years ago for the first time.

Every time I've tried to quit I've started smoking even more when that quit failed. Now I'm up to a pack a day.

I could quit easy if I could spend the whole day in bed. Or spend the whole day on a bus or somewhere where smoking is not allowed. Although I do have to go outside sometime and that is where it hits me full force. It's freezing out (8below this morning with wind), but that fresh air makes me want a smoke BAD! I love the outdoors in the summer and it's going to be hell not smoking when I'm out there gardening, fishing, camping, or hiking. For now I can hide in my house mostly.

So here goes.....this time I'm not going back.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 0
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 0
Amount Saved: $0.00
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 0 Mins: 47 Seconds: 7

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

First day....

Well for now I'm going cold turkey, but I have gum. Though it doesn't really help, I'll use it if I feel really, really freaked out instead of smoking. I really shy away from the patch because it tends to make me sick, I think it raises my bloodpressure because I get all dizzy and woozy from it about 20 minutes after its on. As for Chantix it makes me very, very, very nausious. Last time I was taking it halfway through the first week I threw up in the parking lot on my way from my lunch break and taking my first dose of the day. Just can't even think of putting it in my mouth again. I don't think it really matters what quit aid I use....as long as my mind is on board with the program. And yes I finished the glove box stuff a few days ago.

Oh I need to go lie down....I'm starting to freak out.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 0
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 0
Amount Saved: $0.00
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 0 Mins: 51 Seconds: 10

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

First day....

Thanks Moses and congrats on your 4th day! Keep it up!
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 0
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 0
Amount Saved: $0.00
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 0 Mins: 51 Seconds: 14

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

New and looking to quit

You all are so nice and supportive. Thank you. Yes today is the first day. Perhaps I'll be celebrating tomorrow, right now I'm a little freaked out. I won't smoke....I'm gonna lie down a bit.
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 0
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 0
Amount Saved: $0.00
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 0 Mins: 51 Seconds: 31

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

First day....

Oh how funny. I took a little snooze and remembered I could call the addiction counsler that helped me out in her group sessions she has at the local health center. I didn't enroll in the group this year because of scheduling issues, but she always told me I could give her a holler.

So she's been trained by Mayo clinic and told me to use half a 21mg patch (so that would be 10 1/2mg)and gum if needed. So I slapped that half patch on (still have some left and didn't expire yeah!) and I feel 100% better. It didn't make me feel woozy and I'm not freaking out that I don't have cigs. "whew" It's like a security blanket or something. She told me being a heavy smoker that I'm sorta driving a car 100 miles an hour off a cliff no using anything. She was right thats how I felt.

I wish I could just rid myself of all this nicotine, but I guess I will eventually. I'm just so happy and thrilled how much better i feel with a patch. Silly...

Thanks you all for your words. Wow Karren you are at 258 days! That is wonderful!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 0
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 0
Amount Saved: $0.00
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 1 Mins: 3 Seconds: 13

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

Hiya all !

Congrat kitty on 30days! I have always worried about smoking ruining my perfect teeth (no cavities, just on rebuild from a break in grade school) I don't like the yellowing its caused, but gosh I had no idea I could lose all my teeth and jaw bone from smoking! I mean I knew it wasn't good for them, but I had no idea it could really cause that much damage! YIKES! I don't want to smoke after hearing that story.

I am so sorry about your teeth, but yes as others said with todays health tech you can have a beautiful smile soon! And you'll have something to smile about...Your smoke-free! Congrats again!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 0
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 0
Amount Saved: $0.00
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 1 Mins: 3 Seconds: 55

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

How about considering that Aorta of yours

Hmmm....no I didn't know that. My grandfather though smoked a pipe into his 50s and 3 years ago he had to have triple bypass and a valve replaced. He hadn't smoked for 30 years. Sad but true some damage is already done. Sooner you quit the better.

Thanks f

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 0
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 0
Amount Saved: $0.00
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 1 Mins: 4 Seconds: 13

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