I am having a hard time lately with my drinking. I know that I should probably seek professional help to assist me with overcoming this addiction, but I just can't seem to bring myself to join AA or get counseling. I so desperately want to be normal again. I drank Friday, Saturday and last night. I didn't overdo it on Friday or Saturday, but last night I drank too much. I am starting to hate myself again when I drink too much. I really want to stop and I am aiming for abstinence in the new year. It's actually something I look forward to, but while I am preparing myself to stop this addiction from ruling my life, I am desperate to find a way to be more controlled when I have drinks. This coming weekend concerns me because I'm hosting a dinner party on Saturday and I truly do not want to get loaded and pass out. I wish I could just stop now but the holiday season is a very difficult time to try to abstain. I am going to try with all the strength I have to stop drinking after the Christmas season is done. If anyone has any helpful tips to get me through Christmas dinners without getting loaded, please help me out. I have tried the water between drinks thing, it doesnt work for me, I just stop drinking the water. I do know that if I drink Caesars they are very filling and I tend to drink them very slowly and I stop when I feel full. Maybe that's my answer.