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manager pretty much of bulling

grassdigger

2021-09-13 9:34 PM

Anxiety Community

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Kindnof bullying

Ashley -> Health Educator

2021-09-05 2:39 PM

Anxiety Community

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Dealing with depression and anxiety and starting to feel lonely.

asi

2021-09-03 4:31 PM

Depression Community

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Divorce.....what???

Ashley -> Health Educator

2021-08-20 4:02 PM

Depression Community

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anger, aggressiveness.....


13 years ago 0 catioroc 115 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
"nicotine boosts mood so it's not uncommon after quitting to be angry or sad for a short time. Your brain is learning how to once again produce chemicals that are responsible for good mood and this takes time. Combine this with the fact that you may have used smoking as a coping strategy to lessen bad moods and it's no wonder you're having a bit of a tough time! " Thank you, Danielle. That- and the rest of the text- was just what I needed. Beautifully long- I was disappointed when I got to the end. Copy and paste it into my diary! Freebird: I understand you must have feld really embarassed! As a story, it's amusing, though ;) And that's exactly it: I wonder if I even feel for him anymore... and all these feelings (or non-feelings) can be triggered by the empty toilet roll etc. Thank goodness our relationship is fairly stable (even though we are not married...)- so he's not going to walk out on me tomorrow- nor I on him. Poor thing. ;) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]10/17/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 18 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 306 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �70.38 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58
13 years ago 0 LightnessNZ 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Way to go Cat. You are getting there! Don't worry, you're perfectly normal. I was a raving loonie for the first three weeks, if I wasn't screaming at my husband, I was sobbing like a baby. I literally had no control over my emotions - I started crying at the supermarket checkout (that's quite embarrassing, for the checkout operator as well as me ... LOL). Still, it didn't kill me so it must have made me stronger. Everyone I know keeps telling me that I seem so much "calmer" now that I have stopped. And, on reflection, it is true. I have discovered that I like to breath. That is, to take myself somewhere quiet, sit comfortably and just focus on breathing slowly and deeply for about 5 minutes. It's better than any smoke I ever smoked. Maybe jogging might do that for you, or some other way to just have a time out. PS. My husband and I almost divorced 10s of times over the first few weeks too - we wondered if we even liked each other, let alone loved each other. Just give it some time, you'll get back to each other in a good way. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]9/23/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 42 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,050 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $504.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48
Catiorioc, Here is a post about anger and quitting that may help you better understand this phenomenon: Remember, nicotine boosts mood so it's not uncommon after quitting to be angry or sad for a short time. Your brain is learning how to once again produce chemicals that are responsible for good mood and this takes time. Combine this with the fact that you may have used smoking as a coping strategy to lessen bad moods and it's no wonder you're having a bit of a tough time! Please know you are not alone in your struggle but this will likely be a learning experience for you. - Anger & Quitting - Afraid to turn into a bear when quitting? Maybe you've quit and it's already happened? Explosive, quick to anger over little things? Unexpected outbursts? You are not alone, but rather one of many. What happens? People in recovery do have ups and downs, and sometimes more downs than ups unless they adopt new ways of coping, none of which happen overnight. We keep saying that quitting is a process. Anger may play an unexpected role for you in this process, and better coping skills need to be developed to deal with this also. When *many* smokers and dippers quit, they go through changes that require some unmasking. Take anger, for instance: As nicotine addicts, we might have swallowed our anger, or lit up/chewed rather than make a scene when something really irked us. It might have been easier and less stressful than engaging in confrontation about some problem. I'm confident that most smokers and dippers who were "put in their place" can remember exhaling the smoke slowly at some time or other to decompress. They puffed or chewed away for dear life rather than say their piece and end up getting fired from a much-needed job, to offer one example, or be in an in-laws bad books forever, to name another. In such anger, a nicotine fix became the crutch, the comforter and the savior of sorts, and quite a coping mechanism! (Or so we thought anyway.) With the giving up (and loss from our lives) of that lifelong 'all-round friend' the cigarette, we literally go through mourning with all its stages, including the stage of sadness and anger. Quitting is a major loss, both physically and psychologically, and in addiction, a quitter will naturally mourn that loss for a little while, until they freely accept the quit and adopt it, just letting go of smoking or chewing. But besides that mourning, there are also things that can naturally trigger an angry response in a quitter: For instance, typical little things such as finding an empty roll on the toilet paper dispenser, discovering someone's dirty laundry on the floor, coming across dirty dishes in another part of the house, etc., all could NOW send a quitter into that angry zone. When you smoked you might have lit up and maybe said nothing in those situations, maybe even allowed yourself a sigh of exasperation. Now, however, it could send you in a real tailspin. It's demoralizing if you turn into an ogre and don't know how to deal with it. If so, realize that in this situation, you are resorting to anger in response to a small trigger. You are coping with an irritant by getting angry. Something isn't right here, correct? Without a nicotine fix, the next irritant to come along might be added to the mental stack of current irritants, until the quitter either learns to deal with them in a new way, or has an outburst. Dysfunctional anger management? Inadequate communication habits? Quitting is a learning process. In smoking days, some of the time we lit up to cope, and that particular coping avenue is gone now. We have to find other ways. The same irritants exist as before, but upon quitting, the coping mechanism of old is not there. Some quitters will lash out for a while until they learn what is happening to them and how to deal with it. While they are trying desperately to stay quit and focus their attention on dealing with cravings, they may not be aware right away of some of the other things happening to them. Sudden anger is unpleasant and scary for the quitter, not to mention your loved ones, friends and co-workers. Quitters and family alike feel helpless for a little while, amazed (and maybe fearful) at what is happening, at how easy anger rises. It can take a couple of weeks and maybe one memorable outburst to really alert you to stop and take an inventory of sorts. As soon as you can, develop adequate strategies. It may take a while to get everything right, but everyone has to begin somewhere. Do not resort to smoking or chewing! There are ways to deal with it. Gaining control over nicotine addiction involves recovery, which in turn involves self-discovery and self-appreciation, and it is a process of necessary change on many fronts, including how we deal with many things. A quitter who is angry may realize he/she is stressed to begin with. He should try to reduce his stress level, to reduce the bigger things that normally would not make someone feel really angry about an empty paper dispenser. (Maybe annoyed, but angry?) Accepting our own limitations and the limitations of others is part of the discovery to be made. We've actually begun. We understand smokers, we now have a soft spot for them, but don't want to be in their shoes any more, and may dislike being near them. We don't want to condemn them. After all we were once really in their shoes. Some strategies: Take regular, planned timeouts for yourself. Be realistic and honest: How often did you take a break to light up before? 20, 30 times a day? More? For 5 or 10 minutes? That inner regular need for a break to change your thoughts or environment and decompress at regular intervals should not be abandoned altogether, now should it? Pay close attention to this old existing need. Substitute a breathing exercise or something relaxing and self-loving. Set an alarm clock if you need reminding and keep resetting it. Listen to some music perhaps too, or just pick a form of *regular distraction and relaxation*, and do it for a couple of minutes each time. If you take regular 'non-smoking decompression breaks, you may be pleasantly surprised at the results. Practice relaxation techniques and adopt some into your routine. Successful people really do. Heres a simple breathing exercise when you feel tense: With shoulders back and tummy in, inhale deeply for a slow count of five, exhale for a slow count of five. Do five of these at a time. (You can do this at your computer too) Each day, reflect on, and study your stress levels. Try to reduce the causes of other high stress in your life if you can, by altering the cause. Look at the cause-s. Much of it may be self-imposed. * Consider looking for another job, in another line of work, if necessary. * Learn to say no to the impositions of others. You are presently enrolled in a Quitting Course. * Don't waste precious energy in criticism of yourself and others. Adopt a Live and Let Live attitude. Focus on your happiness. Anger releases bad hormones into your body. Work on the opposite. * Put things in perspective. Value yourself more. Believe that you are really something! Quitting is not for sissies. You may not have arrived yet, but you've left the starting gate. We do appreciate what you're going through. Start pampering and loving yourself, now! Talk positive self-talk to yourself. Some people are too self-critical. Ease up. No one is perfect. The Canadian Institute of Stress believes that by doing something satisfying or pleasurable, we can take the edge off. This is so important! The reason is that when we are experiencing enjoyment or pleasure, our body is pumping out less adrenalin. If you haven't made that reward plan, better late than never, do it now! (And then when you post your stats, share your rewards in order to inspire others to add to their plan too.) Until you can control this anger, (what you say, the way you say it, how you react) it's better to take a time out than lose a friend or alienate a loved one. Isolate yourself in the bedroom or washroom until you feel you can control yourself. Get adequate sleep and rest. Indulge in an afternoon or evening nap. There's nothing like fatigue to make us feel edgy to begin with. In recovery, we need more rest, as every organ in the body is going through some pretty serious adjusting and withdrawal over a few months. Anger can be managed. Study up on anger management: Get a book from the library, search the Internet, or consider getting professional help. Improve communication skills. Study up on this too. Get a book from the library. They give classes in this. Lots of fun. Really! If you are a quitter going through this, please explain to your family and friends that this will pass as you recover. Here's to you! A little note: If you cannot improve on the sadness and anger, I urge you to discuss this with your physician. The problem may be related to something else and your physician can help you through this. Hang in there! Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist
13 years ago 0 catioroc 115 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Blue Cloud, thanks for making me feel better! It's so encouraging to know that people experience the same thing!! I wonder if I've got the sobs coing up, too?!?! Anyway, stopping to smoke is really getting me reflecting my attitudes towards things. Before, I smoked- and felt better after (if only shortly). Today, I went jogging- and felt better after. Things seemed brighter. But where is "the truth"? Are coping tactics just masking reality? Strange. Oh well. I'm keeping going!!!!!!!!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]10/17/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 18 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 306 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �70.38 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
13 years ago 0 blue cloud 1160 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Cat, Yes I went through all of it. Spent the third week crying. I had a very emotional time in the beginning. That thread that Pen posted about Anger and Patience is about as good as they get. I moved it to my journal and I read it over and over. Forgiveness also plays a big part in a quit. For yourself and others. That is hard for me too but I am working on it and things just seem to keep getting better. They will for you to, just dont smoke.Yes nicotine will help you support unhealthy relationships in life.Nicotine is unhealthy. It mask your feelings. You actually discover you again. For me that was scary but I am likeing the smoke free me now. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/4/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 123 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,460 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $492.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
13 years ago 0 Baccarack 1151 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey cat, You are almost at three weeks girl! Great job. There are so many emotional responses tied into smoking that to remove it leaves some strange and uncomfortable voids. It will get better cat and eventually you'll be a better, more emotionally healthy version of yourself. Hang tight! [b]MODS[/b] - Danielle, Casey - could you guys repost the Anger & Quitting information somewhere? I hunted for it yesterday but every thread I found it in was cut off. Such a great one with such a great explanation. It was a huge comfort to me my first month. Thanks :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/5/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1185 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 23,700 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $5,332.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 90 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55
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13 years ago 0 sprquits 153 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cat I'm no expert nor will I pretend to know enough about it but from my own experience I figured that maybe it is not the nicotine (it should apparently be out of your system after 3 days) but maybe the readjusting to your day to day life without having your fags as your companions. Your days were probably split by little short breaks that would give you a small amount of pleasure and now you're avoiding those times. So in your mind you're probably just upset at the fact that you don't have those little moments of calm and pleasure anymore and you're trying to deal with that. I would suggest taking short breaks during the day to do something you truly enjoy and that will relax you. The other way I've been dealing with anger and lack of patience has been suggested by people here before... breathing in, recongizing that it is a temporary feeling and jsut smiling because life will be a lot better in a few days :) Good luck Cat! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]10/28/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 6 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 90 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $29.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
13 years ago 0 catioroc 115 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for the tip. I'm not a pro for internet forums, so I didn't realize there was a search engine... Found a great post by "penitent" on anger. thanks!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]10/17/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 340 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �78.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18
13 years ago 0 Lainey 3875 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cat, There are several excellent threads on anger etc, and you can find them using the search engine. Or check each thread caption (On the left side) and you will see all the threads in each category, as there are some good ones on the go right now! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/5/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 243 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,075 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,563.65 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 29 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11
13 years ago 0 Rusty 2462 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
We don't know why withdrawing from and dealing with an addiction can cause such emotional upheavals in our lives. I too was angry when I realized that it wasn't "over" in a few days. It felt as though some crazy hormones were raging in me. I made everyone around me miserable. I ruined holidays and lost friends and almost lost my husband. Through my employee assistance program at work (which is confidential), I found a counselor who deals in substance abuse. She said she had never treated a quitting smoker before, but it turns out the issues are the same. She helped me learn how to understand my emotions and taught me some techniques. I'm happy to say that I don't have those issues anymore, and that's why I always encourage others to get professional help. It works! Rusty :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/13/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1055 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 29,540 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,692.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 148 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39
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