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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wildcat,
A little suggestion, if the weather is good, go for a family bike ride and put together a picnic that you can enjoy in the family room on a blanket or if the kids are too busy, have a nice romantic picnic with your hubby.
Just a suggestion, but I bet it sure would be fun.
15 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wildcat,
 
The bike sounds like a great idea.  Whenever you can work in fun active activities into your daily routine its a great idea.  it does wonders for the body, mind and the spirit!
 
 
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
when i was a young adult and still studing i worked as a lifeguard at the local pools... so i would scrub the pool, the toilets, the showers, sauna, and all... i used to bike to school and work ... ah it was great burnt to a crisp every year.  But Now! I look like an old piece of leather.
 
but now with my work at the end of the map I have to drive, and get caught in some of the nasty traffic.
I work sitting in front of a computer looking at numbers all day long (8 to 5) so I am very sedentary.
 
My usual cycles are counted in YEARS!  so last summer's rapid (daily/weekly) mood swings were hard on me.  And right now I am still a bit afraid if that starting over.  I do not know any other bipos and the groups at the local center are all daytime things this session... useless to me!  So I am stuck with words in a book and words on the internet trying to make sense of this new manifestation... and understand that not everything is related to being bipolar some of this is part of being me!!
 
My husband wants to take the bikes out on the weekend!?!  i think we are due for one more snow storm... but it would be nice to pedal around with the kids for 20 minutes here and there...
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wildcat, you have been there for me to slap me to let me know I am being a complete twit and for that I thank you, it is time for me to reciprocate a bit as well, instead of ranting and raving and being in my own psychotic world.
Now the fantasy and role playing are my coping mechanism when realty becomes too unbearable, I do draw the line and it only exists in my home, with my husband.  The fantasy may start elsewhere but it always leads me home.  I lived there for quite awhile until realty slapped me so hard my head still hasn't stopped spinning.
I don't know, I sometimes get my rocks off to the more intense emotional reactions, I love the two ends ecstatic and anger they make me feel so alive after so many months or years of slumbering in the middle and being exhausted and sad.  I enjoy the energy associated with it.  I hate the lethargy that I am left with when it is over.  I know what you are thinking, I have not been diagnosed with bipolar, I haven't had an "episode" in many, many years.
I would hope that when you go into your manic phases, you enjoy them as much as possible (the positive parts), and remember before the crash that there are those of us out there who love you and will be there to catch you when you crash.  Any of the negative parts associated with your manic phase can be forgiven, you just need to find a way to control any negative aspects, medications, CBT or anything else that may help, I used to clean, cleaning was safe (except no gloves and harsh chemicals my hands look old, dry and wrinkly). 
Embrace every part of who you are, enjoy the good times, work through the hard times and remember there are always people who love you and want to be with you and help you.
I know, easier to say to someone else, and not so easy to believe for yourself but we can work on it.
Lotsa love
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I love you Furgittit!
 
you are so in touch with your emotions and are so comfortable with yourself.  You seem to have no problem with the fantasy and role playing.  Almost as though you know your inner child and have the most wonder time together on a rainy afternoon together!
 
I am afraid of a lot of the more intense emotional reactions.  I do not want to shut them out any more ... but I have a lot of learning to do on my own, and sometimes I do not know the difference between a really good day and a hypomanic phase begining - especially since last summer all of it was artifically provoked by my anti-depressant (effexor). 
 
I have always been expremely faithful to my husband ... and I even admit jokingly to my husband about the gentlemen...  "Cheri you will have to spend a lot of extra attention on me tonight because the professionals and all well they just took my breath away!  You know, that with the kids in our bed for the past two weeks I have missed you and... well you are the strong one able to move them ... not me... so my looking at the menu elsewhere is partly your fault... what do you plan on doing tonight to fix this problem..."  And it becomes a kinda role game I guess.  We are comfortable enough together to know that nothing is serious...
 
 
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wildcat, take a deep breath. 1, 2, 3, 4........
Now what is wrong with giving the googly eyes, you are a woman and as such have a woman's urges (believe me I know them).  The tight sweater, the pashmina, make you feel alive, sexy and desirable (for me it is waiting for the kids to leave the room and flashing my husband), sometimes when we are down, we do completely off the wall things to try to lift us up.  As for the little extra attention your hubby got this weekend, wow, I do the same thing with my husband as much as possible.  It can never be a bad thing if it is with the one you love.  So a stranger makes you hot, you aren't sleeping with him, you wait and bring it home to hubby for some primal stress relief. 
Now, before not seeing these professionals, ask yourself, is it helping your daughter, at all, in any way?  If yes, say to your husband, before you leave, to go have a shower and get the bed turned down, cause when you get home, the kids are having KD and hot dogs and you are locking yourself up in the bedroom with him until one of you passes out from all the stress relief. If the osteopath isn't helping then by all means stop going.
I had a similar reaction many years ago, woohoo, all I could think about was stress relief, and how good X and Y looked in their jeans and imagined what it would be like and so on and so forth.  My hubby was extremely grateful for this and as you know this does pass and you love your husband and he loves you and KEEP BREATHING.
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi .. so here I am on the up up and away...
 
I am so distracted thinking about what it would be like to be touched by those two with such exprience... It is driving me to Distraction!!! I even tried giving my husband A LOT of extra attention this week-end and when I am alone poof I am a teen again with the googleie eyes.  It is not getting my work done!!! I just want to up and leave, hey I know where one of the works!!!  no good, no good.   
 
It feels like I am alive all of a sudden and walking around without a stitch... I have to have an extra small sweater and my pashmina on to feel covered... I do not feel pretty nor attractive... just exposed and alive.  Like an instinct awakened. So for course I am going to obssessive about what kind of a person am I to think like this?  About these two who never did anything to provoke me ... About me who is happily taken up with my family since so long ... and About am I seeing this professional for my daughter or to satisfy me... ????
 
So bad, so bad, so bad...
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi ashley.
 
It is not the noticing the menu while being on the married diet that is bothering me really... after 20 years I am really happy to be where I am!
 
It is the fact that Wednesday I was crying and unable to drive to work because of the way my body remembered being pawed when I was 3.  And clic, today I am the hyper teenaged girl.  It is exhausting.  And I know that I am setting myself up for a disappointment... the next time I bring Tiamat and the students are as normal as dirt.  Pfffsstttt the balloon.  I will not want to go back, even if it is not to gawk at the "boys" but to help my little one to get rid of her head tic. 
 
I know that this is a mostly depression site and sexually is not a "hot topic".  But those who are bipolar usually have a harder time with it.  Sometimes it is a symptom like shopping is a symptom or being irritable.  And I guess I am afraid that the inner energy is turning.  I am so used to being hypo-depressed that normal is kinda frightening.  Especially with the spring coming !
 
Spring is the light and energy awakening.
Spring is a certain motivation returning.
Spring  is a return of the freshness of the earth and a desire to explore.
 
And with my husband in the usual March madness at work and impot time, I am kinda afraid to find myself alone.
15 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
wildcat,
 
Don't beat yourself up about it.  Your only human we all like to look at attractive people.  I would be worried if you didn't even notice the good look professional in a nice pair of jeans


Ashley, Health Educator
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
aw well nothing everlasts too long with me... I guess.
 
Wednesday i was crying about how being groped and pawed at 3 has made things like a mammography a nightmare ... and today I am on the other side....  I brought my daughter to the osteopathic academy and watched the students examin her and give their diagnosis... and I watched them move around and start their treatments and I watched, and watched the gentlemen who are in good shape and I appreciated their efforts to remain is excellent health....
 
What is that makes a mature professional male in loose jeans just so irresistable?  Why is it that that all of a sudden I am 16 again and willing to fancy the  male professional in loose jeans after the day in tears... and why not appreciate my wonderful husband (who looks like Lucky Luke in jeans and avoids them like a plague).

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