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12 years ago 0 1022 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'd say we have been blessed with the long straw Pete.  You underestimate the value of being real...


12 years ago 0 223 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for your tolerance. I go over the top on occasion here because it's the only place I can lay myself so bare and just let the black feelings flow - I can't do that with my family or workmates and spend daily life behind a mask. It's got to come out somewhere and this forum has drawn the short straw.
 
The vision board idea is interesting. Might help me find some goals beyond getting through each day.
12 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi again Pete,
 
Just want to say that I'm pleased you're still with us!

12 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Pete, 
 
As ~m said of course you are welcome here and belong!  She did also pose some good questions that may be difficult to answer initially, but hopefully over time you may come to realize the answers.  For example, you may not know what you want now, but that may change as you continue to post and read others' experiences.  We are all here to support and learn from each other.  
 
Have you ever tried to create a vision board?  Finding images or a collection of words that represent future goals for yourself and putting on paper... some people have found it helps them focus on recognizing what they want and figuring out the steps they need to take to achieve their goals.
A different approach, but certainly worth a try!
Never give up...   We're here for you. Vincenza, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 223 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi ~m

My response was petulant and over-defensive. Not worthy of a 50 year-old father of three, professional (ha!) person. I apologise too. Immature indeed.


Communication is hard enough face-to-face with people we know well, let alone on a forum like this with strangers. I should have thought before I posted my kneejerk response.
12 years ago 0 1022 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Pete,
You are welcome here and you do belong.  Your honesty and willingness to discuss the tough stuff without sugar coating it is one of your strengths.  This isn't all about you.  I am discovering that I have terrible communication skills and routinely make people defensive with my words, when I think I am being encouraging and supportive.  I have found that these forums are a pretty good reflection of how we motor through real life. I would like the opportunity to learn how to communicate in a way that expresses the concern I feel for people without coming across as.... a total B****.  I have a lot to learn and am hoping you will stick around and help the both of us figure out how to communicate better.  I am reading through the relationship lessons and am feel somewhat overwhelmed with all the wrong things I do in trying to be with ppl.   This disconnect IS happening in my real life too.  I AM sorry my choice of words left you feeling unimportant and unwelcome.  
12 years ago 0 223 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
~m :
 
I haven't slapped anything away as useless or dismissed anything out of hand...but the 'tools' that may work for you don't necessarily help someone else. I've had over two years of cognitive behavioural therapy and it has not helped me. Fact.
 
Your post was pretty honest and I don't have to read too far between the lines to understand that you're exasperated and bored with the tone and content of what I write, so I'll be honest back. I have no idea what I want, only that I'm so unhappy and getting more miserable with each passing day. I do not like myself very much at all and reading your post has not helped a great deal. Even in this forum, obviously, I'm not welcome because I'm a tedious negative bore, right?
 
Ah, what's the point? I'm out of here. You are right, I don't belong.
 
I wish you well in your life, and apologise again for my shortcomings.
12 years ago 0 1022 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
So what's the point Pete?  Why are you here?  You don't like who you are and have indicated more than once that you are not willing to use the tools offered to make a difference in your own life.... why is that?  You are offered hope and differing perspectives but you slap them away as useless.... for what are you waiting?  What is it that you want/expect from us here at the Depression Center? More importantly, what do you want/expect from yourself?
12 years ago 0 223 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I think, Samantha, that you are most likely right. 

Which is a shame, because I don't love myself and can't imagine ever falling in love with myself. I know too much about myself for that, and I can't love when it's not deserved. After all, why should I love 'Pete' just because that's who I happen to inhabit? If I don't even like 'Pete', can barely stand his company, how can I love him? I wish I'd never met him.

I'm not Jesus, not a saint or a Buddha with love to spare. I'm not naive enough to think that I'm someone special out of the millions of people here on Earth. I'm just an insignificant, nasty little man. Nothing to love here, move along folks.........
12 years ago 0 1022 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Why is that such a hard thing to do?  Why is it so hard to give ourselves gentle loving care?

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