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Giving up.


8 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
If you are reading this because you have panic attacks it is not about you giving up. It is about people giving up on you. Or you giving up on someone who has panic attacks. 

The usual reason is that life is too short to waste it with someone who can not do the things you want to do. It doesn't matter if you have a lot in common or if you love them. They are wasting your life sitting around feeling sorry for them selves. You can't even talk to someone with panic attacks because what they say is gibberish. "Fear? What fear, there is nothing to fear, you just don't want to do what I want." "Get with the program, it is all in your head." And they don't mean this program. The only reason to stay together is for convenience. Or maybe you think if you keep ragging on them they will get better. Not much chance there. If your partner had cancer would you treat them like that. If you would then you don't count. You were not worth being with in the first place. The only way you can support someone is to accept what they have and learn all you can about it. And you can't lead. It is frustrating enough living this life without hearing about second cousin so and so who cured themselves with orange juice or Ginko baloni. Be polite you are dealing with someone fragile. Not broken, not yet but they can be. You just have to push them over. If you want to help, read the posts. See what we are about. Don't give up. No one stood by me. I had to do it all alone. I did not want to but it was a lot better than having someone hurt me with their ignorance. We talk about core beliefs and self esteem, do you know what giving up does to those. 
It's not your fault? I've heard that one too. But are you sure? What if it is your fault? What if you are making it worse. What if you need to give a bit so your partner has room to change? What if you have to change a bit? 
What if you can't? Then it will never get better and you will probably give up and move on. I have to tell you though that what you throw away here you can never get back.

It takes a pretty big person to believe and to stand by and support and those that support their partners I salute. 

Davit

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