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12 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit,
 
This life can be unpleasant but only if I let it...Very kind and wise words..
 
 
Thanks,,
 
Red...
12 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Very well put Davit!
 
For once I have nothing to add

Ashley, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit,
 
I think it was easier when families lived closer together..My mother lived to be 82 and my grandmother lived to be 92. They were surrounded by family up until the day they passed away..The both suffered with anxiety over lots of things but never panic...They had their family near by and their family was their whole life..They were never really alone..As for me my family was my whole life also and when I lost them or they moved away I lost myself and panic began to set in. The world has changed a lot since their time and the reality is that there are a lot of families that do not live near each other anymore. So as a consequence I think there are many of us out here that do not have the support of our families like our parents did..So I think it is very important that we have this group where we can come and share our experiences with other people..This way we can know that we are not the only ones trying to find our way in this new world we live in....We can lean on and support each other here. We are not alone in this new world we find ourselves trying to cope in...

Red...
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have a theory that part of the reason for those of us that are disabled having so much trouble with our loss is that we have nothing to associate it with.
In times past when people lived closer together or even in the same house or village we would have seen the natural progression of life and had something we could relate to. Not that there would not be strain from the close association but like most things with some private time it most likely would have been tolerable. Especially if it was common and something you were born into.
This progression of life would have shown you that the things happening to us are relatively normal. Births, accidents, death, disabling and funerals in our immediate family and community would have shown us that what we are going through although unpleasant is normal. Instead of having no knowledge to use as a person living semi alone has.
This is why it is important to vent and support on this site. It acts as the extended family showing us that what we are going through although unpleasant is not that unusual or personal. It happens to others. A large number of the people in my area that have panic disorder are living alone separated from there immediate family due to death or having their family move away. Some pick up another family by spending time in coffee shops or volunteering or joining clubs. Those that don't and don't find a way to occupy there time constructively seem to do worse with anxiety. TV does not replace family except for the odd good movie. (rare) People need contact and reality, not sitcoms. At first this causes stress because it is foreign but with saturation it becomes calming. (except for the coffee, but in those with a tolerance for it it is okay. Those without can have something else)
Churches are aware of this need and are trying to fill it with hand shaking and meetings after.
And for many it works.
Again this is CBT. The changing of thought patterns. 
Think about it, even sharing life experiences with one new friend can reduce some of the anxiety. (unless they are a jerk) (but even that can work if you see the humour in it)
When you post what you are doing it helps me to see what I have lost in a more positive way and definitely makes my struggle more positive. This life can be unpleasant but only if I let it.
Please comment on this if you can find the time.

Davit. 

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