Everyone.

 

I am so sorry I had to post about the problems I am having. I hope my story hasn't caused any of you reading here any anxiety..If it has I am very sorry.

 This was something I felt I needed say and that it was better for me if I didn't hold it in and keep it a big secret any more..I really wish this was not my story but it is and I thought it needed to be told..I want you to all know that there is still hope and to never give up not matter what. I haven't given up hope yet and neither can you...Freedom isn't free but it is possible as long as you keep working at it..

 

Red....

Sunny,

Thank you for your support and prayers..

 

Red...

Hi Red:  OMGosh does sound stressful in that neighbourhood.  Some people have no respect for others' property or feelings.  Sorry you had to go through that with your first husband.  That's what I mean when I mention rudeness, without manners.  Yes, I would rather live in an RV and travel.  My retired brother has only his RV now and loves it. 

I hope you find a great, quiet, lovely spot, just perfect for you and partner.  I'll say a prayer for you.  If I have helped you in anyway, then I am happy and you are very welcome.  Pls. keep in touch.

 

Sunny

Davit and Sunny,

 

I want to thank you for reading my post and  responding to my cry for help and for your very thoughtful and caring responses..You have really helped me a lot. 

I have been dealing with this problem for about 18 years now and the situation where I live is not getting any better. It has been so sad and contributed greatly to the Panic/Agoraphobia and PTSD and Depression that I now suffer with..It was just to much for my husband to take, he had a couple strokes because of this and the situation with a neighbors bullying us was really horrible for his Ptsd and dementia..These took such a toll on him and I both and he passed away from all of the stress.  I really feel he would of lived longer if we hadn't had this neighbor terrorizing us..We had this neighbor running around our yard sometimes until midnight and hitting our house and fence with baseballs. The fence boards cracking and popping sounds like gun fire and we were in a state of panic especially my husband having been in combat in the war..I tried to make it stop and called the police and nothing helped..Anyway this has never really stopped, my partner and I have had our house and cars egged and last weekend while we were trying to put up trellises on our from porch and plant some flowers it was a nightmare..We had people all over our yard playing volley ball and screaming..Hitting the house and me with the ball..I tried to talk to the neighbor and asked him to not hit the house because my windows might get broken and they cost me a lot of money. His response was your window didn't cost 2000 dollars..They never stopped and I got hit with the ball while digging holes to plant flowers on my front porch..Anyway my partner and I are starting to put up a fence in the front yard starting on Monday..I hope this protects us..So after we get that completed and the house secured we are going to try to get out of town for a while..We have been looking for a place to move to for the last several years. We got the house ready to sell but still need to find a place to live before we sell it..Anyway this has been very hard on us and I don't want to loose him like I lost my husband..I just hope we can get through this and get our fence up without being hurt and that it helps the situation. After we get done with the fenceing hopefully we can leave here for a while. I sure hope we can find a new place to live soon and if not I am seriously thinking about selling the house and taking to road in our travel trailer. This has become so depressing and reliving this over and over again is something I don't think I can face anymore..So if you don't  hear from me for a while I am probably living on the road looking for a place to call home...

I will miss you all if I have to leave here and will try to make contact while on the road..

I want to let you know how much your friendship have meant to me and want to wish you both a very happy life together..

 

Your Friend,

Red...

Well till now anyway since I will be sharing front and centre with my sweetie soon. 

Davit.

The environment we choose to live in or the people we choose to surround ourselves with definitely have an impact on our mental, emotional & physical well-being.  Sometimes it is difficult to recognize the negative energy that we take in from these surroundings.  It is important to identify these aspects and our perception of them.  Then, how will you choose to handle the situation?

 

Sunny, thanks for sharing your story.  I think that is one of the most difficult decisions to make.  How did you handle the situation? 

 

Members, have you let go of someone in your life who was feeding you negative energy?  What was that experience like for you?

Hi:  Just to add to these posts.  I just recently dropped a friend who is very negative and bossy.  I tried my best to be a good friend but it didn't work.  We would set guidelines on topics we could talk about or not.  She did not like my volunteer work, and other things.  I didn't like her gossiping and her bullying about going out shopping or whatever when I said a firm no.  Letting her go was a bit sad, but I know that for me it was the right choice.  It was like a weight off my shoulders.  So it shows that it was beginning to stress me out.  In this case, I feel it is o.k. to avoid or not interact with this person.  I will say hello if I bump into her somewhere, but that's it.

I think it is o.k. to avoid noisy places if you don't like them.  I don't particularly care for loud dining rooms.  I don't avoid them because I fear them, more because I'd much rather go to a quiet spot and enjoy a nice dinner with candlelight.  That is my choice.

 

Sunny

People that live successfully in cities do what they call tuning out. A form of dissociation where you don't absorb your surroundings. Now I can't do that. My survival skills are too strong for that. I have to know what is happening around me. This is why I have no TV. I can't tune out the annoying stuff. Look at people in malls. Some of them are in there own world and see nothing around them. Pick pockets love these people. They are not zombies, they can just concentrate on what they are doing and nothing else. 

As for negative people. Well that is the apples and oranges thing. You can associate with them as long as you don't take what you do with them back to your world. You need an invisible line they can not cross. Not physically since they may actually invade your space, say for a visit or a barbecue. A mental line that there appleness can't cross. 

This is where you use perception and attitude, and you use it on yourself. You say things like "well that was interesting but now I'm in my space and they don't exist". This can only work if they can't actually invade your space as in there music too loud or there dog cr......ping on your lawn. But even that can be handled if you do it right. And that is done by attitude. Instead of getting mad you can do the "it's a sad situation but it is not mine" mind block. "Thank God I'm not like them." "I have to live here best make the best of it." The city has some nice things. Convenience, lower prices on commodities and parks. All nice things if you can ignore the noise and people. Actually you don't have to avoid negative people if you use them to compare your life to theirs and come up with positive reasons why yours is better. Positive attitude and perception. 

But that is just the plan. It doesn't always work if you are constantly bombarded with negativity, Some of it is going to get past your positive attitude in which case you have to avoid it and them. A shame because avoidance is sort of negative. So I would have to say if you can't make it work then you have to move to a place similar to where I live. Quiet and few negative people since they are here for the same reasons I am. But having to do with out convenience can cause negative thoughts just as much as living in the rat infested crowded conditions of a city. So if you can't bury the negativity with positive attitude and if you can't associate with negative people and leave them out of your space you probably have no choice but to get out. One thing they do give you is a better enjoyment of your freedom when you can get away from them. So it is perception of the situation, attitude and a bit of intentional dissociation and if that won't work then you have to move. I did and although there are hardships I love it.

Davit.

It is so quiet here I had a little bear come visit me while I was digging up bulbs. He came to see if there were still apple and was so quiet I almost didn't notice him. Cute little guy, but ten feet is too close. I had to yell at him.

Davit.

I found this all very complex and hard to grasp at first..Its does make sense..So would it help to try to limit your contact with negative people?  so that you do not add to your negative thoughts and their negative thoughts do not become yours. I find it hard to remain positive when surrounded by so much negativity..Hence the Agoraphobia I guess...

 

As for the world and all of the negative things that go on out there, I find this a little tougher to deal with..This is hard to do when you live in a Big city like I do..Even neighbors can be a problem..I think the city is like the experiments that have been done where they put to many rats in a cage together..The rats started attacking and eating each other..This is what I think is happening in the Big cities they are over populated and there are just to many people and they are attacking each other like to many rats in a cage..So what do you do if you live in a Big overcrowded city like lots of us do? How do you remain positive when you are under attack? I know this may be a hard question for you to answer too, being that you live in a small quaint village like you do..So if we can't move to a small village how do we cope in a Big rat infested city? How do we apply these principals and techniques to our present environment? You don't have to answer..I am just babbling here...

 

Well I am out of here for the weekend and am going to work on some plans to get away for the Big city and all the negativity for a while..

 

 

Red....

Davit:  Makes sense to me.  When I look back I think I am quite the survivor!  Lots of negative in my life and I still like to think positive....I used to think I was such a wimp or a sucker.  Now I see it as a WINNER.  I believed there were good things out there and though I had periods of doubt and maybe feeling sorry for myself, I kept on plugging and I didn't let the negatives trample me. 

 

I especially like what you wrote "Lead positively, don't follow negatively".  Right on!

 

Sunny