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Am I ugly.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Two years was a while ago, it was probably advertised on some medical site I was on.

Curiosity and an insatiable need for information. That and curiosity why it was free. Nothing is free. I think I know why it is free but we will not go into that here, it doesn't matter.

Davit. (information junky)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

So true.

How did you find out about this site Davit? What had enticed you to join?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Vincenza

I feel people have a lot more to say than they are comfortable with. I wish I knew how to convince them that it is okay to do it. I wish I had a magic formula to get new members here.

All I can say to them is that this is anonymous, please come say what you want to say, you will feel better for it. We can not help if we don't know you are there. Post even if you are not looking for answers, you could be missing out on a good opportunity. You just never know.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Wow, Immense food for thought from everyone!

What an interesting and insightful thread this turned out to be.

Thanks for sharing and for continuing to be part of a very supportive

online community!

Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

What I think is good about a social group, is that they help us challenge our negative thoughts, and be better, the way we aim to do it ourselves.

With an optimistic social group, that is easier than just doing it ourselves, which can be a grind

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

I wanted to add here about the shame part. Most of us have some shame and realizing that sharing this with others doesn't mean we have to share every intimate, scary, remorseful, vulnerable, ugly detail (pick your adjective). Rather it's knowing that what we share is our humanity, just like everybody else, that we can forgive others and ourselves. We learn not to judge others, we have not walked in their shoes, we don't know what happens behind closed doors, we don't know what they've been through, what is their journey, etc.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

What's that old saying? Stick with the winners. It works you know. Find someone whom you admire and try and figure out what it is you admire about them. Some of their confidence, know-how, positive energy, will rub off on you. You can learn a lot from positive people.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

~m,

What I've found with shame is that it dimishes with socializing. I find if I'm isolated, it gets worse. Socializing draws on the postive nature of a community, such as this virtual community online.

Most people will, on the average, give good energy, and that means our skewed view of ourselves being negative(shameful) will change if we stick with a supportive social circle(s).

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Remember what we say about the past, you can't change it so it doesn't count.

About shame, shame is in the past. Even if you slip and have something to be ashamed of right now, tomorrow it will be the past and doesn't count. Therefore if it doesn't count where does the trust come in. Since we use the past to learn it is only necessary to recognize that there is something in the past to be ashamed of. Therefore you only have to mention that there is something to be ashamed of not specifically what. Still a trust issue but a much milder one. Is there anyone here that has nothing they are ashamed of? I doubt it. People make mistakes, that is how we learn.

There are things in my past that I can not change so I do not think I need to share them, even with my best friend. And she has things she can't change that I don't need to know. In the future we may talk about the mistakes we made in our lives. I trust her, she trusts me. That is what counts. We also recognize that we are not perfect. ( just close :-) )

The problem with doing something alone is there is no one to share the blame with if it doesn't work. On the flip side is that if it does you don't have to share credit. :-)

The only thing you get from sharing CBT is sharing, it is still about you so in the end you have to do it alone. What you get from sharing is knowing you are not alone and having someone to compare too.

I'm sure you will be fine. You do have what it takes.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Last paragraph. Yes that makes sense, very much so. Cured is a tough condition to pin down.

Cured is being able to function in the way you would like to. But in reality cured is being able to function in every thing you have to with the minimum of anxiety and no attacks. Cured is being able to shut down anxiety and panic and just plain feeling yukky when ever it happens cause it does still happen. Cured is being able to smile when you are sad instead of feeling depressed. Cured is being able to sit alone and be sad without thinking there is anything wrong with you.

Cured is feeling ALL the emotions without panicking.

Cured is wonderful.

Davit.

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Am I ugly.