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My story.


13 years ago 0 118 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

 

Hi Sea

I reflecting back at what you post and you seen to be saying that you are in a lot if distress right now. We have or I have hit bottom, was very distressed, and ended up in the hospital. The one good thing that came out of that experience was that I got a social worker. She has been with me for many years. Trying to help me in whatever way she could. I am not sure where you live and I do not want to know, but I will give you a few resources that could help you along with this program. One is to phone CAMH and tell them you story, or you could phone 211 if you live in Ontario and tell them. Both these places should give some extra guidance if you feel you need it. If you are not in Canada then perhaps you could use Google and find similar resource where you are. I feel for you I know what it is like to see no way out but I got over that feeling and realized that there were people out there to help me and the most important thing I discovered there was things I could do to help myself. The realization that there was things that I could do to help myself was pivotal I my journey. It stopped me from felling like a victim and gave me a sense of control over my thoughts, impulses, and behaviours. All of which you will find in this course.

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 286 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Sea,
 
I know it can feel like there is no way out of this - many of us have been there: rock bottom. But take inspiration from the other members here. Many have recovered and all of us have made progress. I hope you will start the program offered on this site. Doing the homework really helps. This support group is also invaluable, as you will always find support here. Feel free to post at any time about anything.
 
In terms of being concerned about medications, I can understand that. Remember that they can be a helpful tool in the process of recovery and that if you consult with your doctor and follow their recommendations you won't be at risk of overdosing again.
 
Journaling can also be very helpful. Sometimes just writing gets all the thoughts out of your head or allows you to make discoveries about what is really making you anxious.
 
Best,
Teebs
13 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Sea,  I echo Samantha.  This program really works and the supportive people on this site are really genuine and caring.  I would start the program.  I have completed the program and I am cured of anxiety and panic.  And, I want to encourage you.  Session 1 really helped me to identify what my panic triggers were and how to replace the negative thoughts with positive truths.  Believing in the program is essential as well.  I know you will get better once you begin.  I have had some traumatic events in my life too.  I live in America and I have been mugged before and I couldn't leave the house for 3 weeks.  I want you to know that everyone here cares about you and is here for you.  I believe in you and I know you will get better.  Start the program from the beginning and do the homework and you will see :)  Never give up.  You are worth it!
13 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Sea,
 
Welcome and thank you for sharing your story with us. There are many people within this support group that share the same questions and concerns as you. We are all a group of individuals who support each other.  

If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find many supportive tests. These tests are not diagnostic tools and are not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor.

We also have developed a Panic Program. This program is 12-weeks and involves the tools mentioned above. Each session is based on the previous session, so we strongly advise that you work slowly through the program and not jump ahead.  

These tests may or may not be for you but they are "free". If you have any question or concerns with our “TOOLS”, you can contact us at support@paniccenter.net. We are the Support Specialist for The Panic Center and are open to any questions or concerns you may have.

Please continue to strive forward and lean on us for support.
 
 
Samantha, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 8 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm not sure in this is where I'm supposed to post or not. I apologize in advance for the spelling mistakes/grammar issues.
 
It starts. Accelerated heart pumping as if it was a piston in a super sports car, throat feeling constricted, almost as if there was a very large snake attached to it squeezing for everything it could. Numbness shooting throughout my entire body, sensitive to the touch I can feel the air blowing against my skin with an extreme chill almost as if in a freezer. With so many things going on at one time and your mind trying to jump into fight or flight with adrenaline pumping and you just wanting to relax.




The hard part is I know what comes next. I feel so help less at the moment I have no one to turn to any more, and I assume that it's the reason I hung on to her for so long. She was my beacon of light in a world that was so dark with despair. She was the one person I could turn to and know she would let me open up to her and wouldn't hold it against me. Any other person I told this too would kind of brush it off and not understand the difference they made in my life, It made me feel safe to know some one was always there. In this I grew very protective of the person I was with, in what would seem as Obsessive to some wasn't so obsessive to me more than it was some thing like a security blanket.



Truth be told, I've never really returned to normal after the several abortions / miscarriages. the first one didn't really phase me, as because as soon as it happened I had found Brittny, the 2nd one was really devastating and made me push forward harder with the whole brittny and eric situation that I would have normally left alone. I couldn't stand her crying, just seeing and hearing brittny crying was too much for me to handle she had been there for me for so long I wanted to make things right in her eyes, and that was letting brittny be the mother of my kids. the 3rd one was extremely painful It's pushed this back on me even tho it's been over a year I still dream about things. the feeling of worthlessness returns when I think of these things, Why would any one want some thing like that with me when I can't do ****.



The beginning was more or around the age of 15 - 16, the very first one had come after smoking a blunt with mel kendra and bill, i was sitting in the kitchen and taking the blunt to the head while bill and mel went to the store. I moved to the living room and it just happened, it came from clear left field I never saw it coming. I ended up in the emergency room for hours in a room getting my system cleaned out with a saline solution not my most proud moment I can tell you that, however it was only a taste of what was to come. the problems seemed to come from around the stress of having a companion.


over some time the systems would come and go as they would please and every time it came back it took more and more affect on me, Mentally and physically. The harder I try to get them to go away it seems the more they happen, and to be honest I'm extremely fearful of being alone when the thoughts start racing I can't handle it. I just break down in so many ways, "oh my god whats happening, why's my heart beating so fast, places hand on heart wow what the hell is going on. Why does it feel like im choking try to take a drink and it makes me throat feel sticking as if im choking on what im trying to drink. Weakness, more in part the physical weakness problems standing, problems thinking, a million thoughts being processed at 1 time its over all to much to bare." you get all that then the adrenaline decides it's time to step in to try to assist the bodys need for more energy to process everything, yet it only makes it worse because instead of being able to rest you feel the constant need to keep moving, and it makes it to where its that much harder to focus on the task at hand.


one of the factors I view as the worse is the pain of taking medicine which I'm assuming at this point in time is the result of this returning once more. at one point in my life I had turned to drugs to coupe with things that was too overwhelming to me. I was taking medicine IE. pills such as xanax and valiums to try to coupe with things that I was purchasing off the street from random people. In this process I about overdosed this has drove my fears for the medicine for years it makes me frightened of trying to attempt this again. in the last few weeks I've attempted taking medicine again, and its taken this toll on me again.


in the past few weeks it's been welcome back to an even worse version of agoraphobia, I've fought for years to be able to just go 10-15 miles from the house and now all that work seems like a huge setback to just return to the house and hardly be able to even leave my room again.
 
 


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