Hi everyone: I rarely cried. Was too blocked. Felt sad, but no tears. Now I can cry but usually only if I am very, very sad or over tired and stressed out and it doesn't take much to cry. I find that when you are doing well and coping and going along, you may not know it but tension is building up inside if you haven't released it through exercise or true relaxation. Then when something traumatic happens, the floodgates open and you can cry and cry for long periods of time. That tension build up has to come out some way. So crying is a good release for that, whether it is a happy or sad occasion. Cheers to a good cry! :)
My dear friend, welcome to the world of post panic. A very normal reaction considering what you have been through and conquered. You are a smart lady, visit the depression site and see if you fit. Depression is so sneaky. Anxiety and depression go together all right but there is post success depression and I get it pretty bad. Mostly I cry a bit and laugh at myself a lot, cause I know what is happening and why. It happens also with post trauma success, such as a long battle with a broken leg. I have no idea why a person feels sad when they should feel happy but it certainly happens, maybe some one else has an answer.
I haven't been here in a while, and I'd like to be able to say that I've been fine..but I can't. I have some issues, I guess it could be called a set-back, but not with anxiety so much but being depressed. ...I guess I'm learning they kind of go hand in hand...I've read back on alot of the posts ....you guys all have great advice and are truly here for eachother....I've been in a bad funk and havent been able to see much positivity, so I havent joined in here. I feel bad about that too.
I'm facing some very stressful times at my job....long story, and it looks like I will be off for about 6 weeks on stress leave. I embarrased myself by crying at work, and having to leave early, about something my boss said that a co-worker said about me. It's kind of funny actually, I used to be a "crier"...before taking this SSRI..I'd cry at a sad song, or at a commercial on TV for starving people..you know, at the drop of a hat.......then for the 7 months I have't cried... not even a little bit....but when I got in trouble I started crying and couldn't stop...seriously, the floodsgates opened...I dont think the bosses thought I'd do that! ha... and I cried non-stop for hours and hours...I had to leave my job, I just couldnt handle it. I spent the last few days in bed. And now, there's a big fight with the union and no doubt lots of conflict...which I hate....hubby's going away soon, my 21 year son is still making bad choices...I'm mad at myself for being "weak"....blah blah....I don't want to bring anyone down, but I don't want to erase this...I gues I'm wondering if this is "normal" depression or am I overreacting....I guess time will tell...anyhow, I'm going to post on the adult children thread..maybe that'll make me feel better
Have you noticed how the word 'acceptance' is showing up in posts. It is not the same as giving up. I think accepting the way a person is is the first step towards changing the way a person is. Not accepting the way you are is usually a reaction to something some one else said about you or gave the impression about you. You either think they are right or they are wrong, which ever is the more negative. It doesn't have to be this way.
Red
This new you feeling is called experience, it is what we use to prevent the past from happening again and it is what we pass on to others so they can benefit from it. It is what makes you an inspiration to others.
To chime in and respond to Ashley's question about setbacks I would have to say that having to deal with other people's needs while in recovery / healing ends up setting me back. I am a caregiver for a couple of people and taking a full time out to focus on getting fully cured isn't an option or at least, would require a lot of upheaval. Some days it does seem necessary because when I encounter panic, I end up having to deal with the other people's reactions to my panic. I end up having to choose who to help, myself or them. I am getting better at choosing me. But its hard. definitely. I really want the people in my life to cut me some slack while I work on this program but its not happening and I have to accept this is just a more challenging situation, but not insurmountable.
To Ashley and the other members that posted here or are just reading this thread:
I too have to remind myself that setbacks are just setbacks and that I can learn from my setbacks. I also have to remind myself that it is ok to be calm and just because I am not upset by things the way I used to be does not mean something is wrong and that I should make myself anxious because that is what I have always done in the past...I do not need to feel guilty because I am not upset....I don't know if this makes sense to any body here or if anyone else does this? but sometimes I feel guilty because I am not letting certain things,situations,or people make me feel anxious or bad anymore..and I catch myself feeling like something is wrong with me.
What I think the problem might really be is that I have to get used to the new me and my new way of reacting to stressful situations...
Yep, I've been going through this very same thing! I almost feel like it's become a habit, to be in a certain situation and expect things to progress towards anxiety. The worst for me is when those thoughts about "Isn't this supposed to make me anxious?" come, and it is hard to stop them there before they progress into the physical symptoms. But, I'm getting better at stopping at those thoughts before I end up in a full blown panic attack. Sometimes if I'm by myself, such as in a car or something, I will actually say, "STOP!" to the worries, which seems to help.
I think your observation that the diminishing time between a set back and feeling little to no anxiety is a huge marker of your success. I should be thinking about things in these terms, as well.
anxiety was so much a part of my identity. I thought I'd kick and scream while it was leaving. Now that the underlying anxiety is mostly gone, depends on the day, I sometimes think I want it back and of course I think back to some awful times to snap me out of it. I just have to fill that emppty space with all the things I've been missing out on. Or enjoying the things I am already doing but with a feeling of peace. I still like my cacoon when I come home from work, so I'm not going to go looking for stuff to create anxiety.
What I need to master is not letting an anxeity attack turn into a panic attack. I don't remember to stop before it escalates to do breathing exercises. I just thought of posting a big note on our window at work. When my husband would take abuse from clients and then be depressed and fuming, I had him put up a note to say to the person - I will not allow you to speak to me like that. If you don't stop I will hang up. And he has hung up on quite a few ! Now he's removed himself from the attack and can say t o the person, you sound very angry with me, or upset with (fill in the situation). And brings the person down to a calmer note, not all, still a few he hangs up on and then we fire them. We laugh, clients always think they do the firing, they are stunned when we tell them thay are fired, there is just so much stress in our lives already, don't need to be treated like they must speak to their child. So, went off track, I'll hang a super large note in marker so I can see it anywhere in the room. I might have to paste a sign to my farhead !
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