Hey guys, had the worst setbback ive had in a long long while, panic attacks came to the point where the nurseline told me to ring an ambulance immediately. I feel I should have gone to hospital as the ambulance crew asked me to but I just couldnt bring myself to go as I would have been even more terrified ina hospital!! It is the first time my new boyfriend has seen anything like this and I think I might have freaked the poor guy out. My mam has had too much aswell as she thinks I should go into a mental health hospital for panic attacks because she feels they are so draining for everyone around me to deal with too. I know it would probably help me alot but my best friend is in a hospital like that and I am scared of the same stigma being put on me as has been put on her, i know that is horrible to say, I do not have any problems with them I just dont want people judging me. Today is probably the first day in my life where I really really feel as if I have no-one truly backing me up. I have been offered a job 6 hours away from here and I am thinking of taking it so I miight be able to start a fresh. I dont knw, Im so confused. I try to do the course but in 2 days time I wont be anxious anymore, the anxiety and PAs go from virtually nothing to severe all the time. It seems to be alcohol but I cant stop going out with friends to drink, its so stupid,I bring it all on myself by drinking.
