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10 years ago 0 356 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
This is a good question = is anybody else hiding parts of themselves from others?

The way I think about this, you really need to strive to really like yourself. As Davit put it, "warts and all". This is not easy. There may be times where we feel we like ourselves and other times where we don't, especially when we are working on ourselves such as doing CBT or something else that works with our deeper selves, or beliefs, our habits and our traumas from the past. It can be hard to love yourself 100% of the time in my view but I believe it is possible and it takes work. Because you have to know yourself in order to love yourself. You have to love your self, so if you don't know who this 'self' is, seems hard to love something you don't define or know or can think about / describe. 

The second part is about what we share with others. Over the last few years I have really thought more directly about how it is a choice. When I meet someone new, I choose what to share with them about myself. Not sharing everything doesn't mean I don't like that part of myself, it means it is private, for now, in regards to that specific person. I really don't care to share myself with just anybody and everybody. I mean, I'll share my basic kindness and will behave in pro-social ways in social settings (such as a tai chi class) but I can still count on one hand how many people know details about my past. 

Personally, I don't like the way a lot of people respond to me when I tell them things about myself. Honestly a lot of people are just interested in themselves, they don't really care about the details about my life so I do feel it is pointless to offer the info, if they are just going to respond with negativity or judgement. Its too bad for them, but its fine by me, it doesn't affect what I think about myself, because its just their opinion or rather, I would say, their projection.
10 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hugs

No I am what you see, you just may not see what I am. People see what they want.

You can not cure anxiety till you let yourself be who you are. Warts and all. And that is very hard to do. We are taught not to be.  Who is the real hugs4U? Do you like him? If you don't, how can others. Is it time to be the real you? Is it possible or will rocking the boat this much sink it? You may have to live with this. But that will only make it part of who you are. You will still be you if it is acceptable. 

As usual I'm talking in circles, no beginning, no end.

Davit
10 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Corresponding recently made me wonder if I'd boxed myself into a corner.  It seems I can't publicize my passions, since I have this Cinderella role in our family.  I am taking Tai Chi, but withheld this information.  Cinderella's role means I'd threaten other's status quo, rocking the family "boat" and being "unselfish".
 
Is anybody out there hiding parts of themselves from others?

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