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Support groups: face to face

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Support groups: face to face

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I have had support, but it's so inconsistent, it's hard to tell if I can feel safe.

In one other situation, I felt so awkward, since someone had expressed a great deal of jealously, since she was at the beginning of her career, and I had left, since I could afford to. In another case, I was just getting negative "vibes" from a number of the group. I did express myself to the facilitator, but without much impact, I feel.

I do get information, and maybe I just have keep quiet, and listen, rather than participate, since the leader seems to be insecure.

If the group isn't working, I could leave it alone, and just let others do the criticizing, or I could assert myself.

There's a contact so I ask for other groups to see if I can get what I want, in a safe environment.

It's hard to tell if I'm over-reacting, when I've been feeling miserable, but the type of people who are placed into these positions shouldn't be incompetent, because of the needs of the participants. They need to be exceptional, but the simple reason that she continues is that she is unionized, has great benefits, and at the end of a career where she wants to coast to the finish line and not be bothered with anything to worry about on her happy commute between her cottage and her numerous offices in a major urban city with benefits.

Too bad for those of us who actually need the services she's supposed to deliver, and the young, aspiring and unemployed professionals who could do her work and deliver those services.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

Hi Hugs,

That sounds like a very realistic want in a support group. In fact I think in order to have a successful support group all members need to feel that way.

Do you think the group you were attending could give you that? What can you do to ensure you feel that way in the group? What happens if you don't feel that way? What will you do?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Hi Ashley,

After thinking about your question about what I wanted from a group, I think I've concluded that I just want a safe place, with a sense of belonging.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Hi Ashley,

I'm going to nap/sleep on that question. I feel disoriented today, since that group pushed some of my buttons, as well as getting a letter from work updating me on changes. Workplace violence memories also gave me a lousy nights sleep, so maybe today will be better.

I didn't do my relaxation exercises, and miss them

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

Hi Hugs,

I think peer support groups can be very helpful. It's important to have an open and accepting mindset when going to support groups. Try also to be accepting of the facilitator. They normally have to run a number of different groups and activities and can be under a lot of stress. Making points about not giving out medical advice (even if you didn't exactly) and watching the time are items that a facilitator has to keep an eye on - try not to take it personally.

The comment about her feeling "loopy" I don't think implies she is emotionally unstable perhaps she was just having a hectic day? What do you hope to get out of the support group? How can you ensure you get that when you are there?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

This website has been helpful to me for years, and I wished to build on this experience, to step outside into actual meetings.

I wonder if others have experienced "real" support groups where they meet in person. I've been in many, but keep trying to go to one, to help with caregiving, without success.

What I was told about support groups is that they're like "the hungry trying to feed the hungry". In this group, the facilitator is okay for a couple of meetings, and then loses control. What I experience is that the members either attack me(I'm the weak one), or the leader does.

Yesterday, the leader got upset with me since she was defining a word, but the caregiver's mom was using a cheap drug, with a great alternative, which I'd just discovered. I didn't profess to be a pharmacist, but just suggested she have a conversation with her pharmacist.

The second mishap was I was sharply reprimanded for speaking after a short minute in a two hour period. Another member came along, late by 40 minutes, and spoke for 15 minutes, and then close to 10 minutes the second time.

I've spoken to the leader in the past about conflict in that group, and her response was that she wasn't aware of the dynamic I described.

How do I know it's me or if it's her or both of us? When the late member came into the group, I noticed she asked the leader how she was, and the facilitator stated she was '"loopy". I wonder if I should look for something else now, through a contact I have, since i want someone emotionally stable to be privy to my personal life, as would others, who have parents who are at the end of their lives.

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Support groups: face to face