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dealing with fear away from home.


10 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
To Everyone who cannot drive or ride in a vehicle without extreme panic attacks:  I used to suffer terribly from this, to the point, that a 10 minute drive seemed impossible.  I, literally, wanted to leap out into traffic to escape stop lights.  I started this program and learned what my triggers were.  Once you know, you can manage it.  I had a list of positive true statements, I wrote down, to counteract each negative thought about being in a vehicle.  For example, "This is just a temporary feeling.  The longer I continue to be in a vehicle, the less the panic will become over time and I will be free of it.  I can do this, I'm not going to die.", etc.  By the time I went down the list, the traffic light was green and I talked myself out of panic.  You have to believe what you tell yourself or it is all futile; just words.  Start slow.  Sit in the vehicle for a few minutes.  When you feel comfortable, start the vehicle and sit in it, then drive down the driveway and back it up the driveway.  Go around the block.  Basically, baby steps, so you're not overwhelmed.  The more you do this, the less fear you will have.  I can now ride and drive in a car on an almost 1,000 mile trip to Florida and back with no panic at all.  I can have high anxiety at times, but manage it with the coping skills and relaxation techniques, but it never turns into panic.  It hasn't for going on 3 years now. Our minds can talk us into things and out of things.  When you get that fight or flight, adrenaline, anxiety/panic feeling.  If you tell yourself nothing bad is going to happen and believe it, even if you need to repeat it over time for it to work, eventually, your body will respond to what your mind/brain is telling you.  It's, literally, retraining your brain to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, and believe them.  One of my triggers was physical sensations, so when my heart would race, my mind thought, "Oh no, my heart is racing, there must be something wrong, so let me panic now."  So, when it happened again, I told myself, "Hmm...my heart is racing, it must be a false alarm, because there is no danger, there is nothing wrong.  So, I can box breathe and relax and not tense up (which is a sign to your brain that something is wrong) and look around at my surroundings and everything will be okay.  My heart will slow down as soon as I relax and everything will be okay."  And, it was okay.  You have to do this every time, even if it's a million times and you're tired of it and fed up with it.  You have to be more persistent than the negative thoughts.  The world teaches us, through the news, to focus on the negative.  So, it takes time, patience and hard work to constantly battle this in our thoughts.  But, one day you will automatically default to positive thoughts and anxiety and panic will be a distant memory.  Another coping skill I learned it that when you get that "feeling", tell yourself, "I'm just excited."  Your body reacts first and then your mind determines is this a good "excited" feeling or is this a bad "panic" feeling.  It really worked for me and I calm down right away.  BUT, it is in addition to completing this program, doing all of the homework, working hard, not giving up and thinking I've learned enough, but actually finishing.  Posting for help with the support group and health educator's.  You can beat this.  I don't panic anymore.  I do have anxiety from time to time, but manage well with what I've learned here.  We can never be 100% stress free, because we live in an imperfect world, but you can learn how to handle it, so it's not running your life and you can enjoy it again.  I was agoraphobic as well.  The big thing to prevent it from coming back, is to get out every day, even for a short trip to the store or to get a cup of coffee.  The more you stay in the house, the more it has a hold on you and can come back if you don't do things to prevent it from happening again.  We can tend to fall back into our comfortable modes, but it's worth the work to be free of panic.  It was for me.  I know you can all do this, because I have.  Post as often as you need to, there is always someone here that can help.

Shari
10 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Welcome Kdteach

So what is changed or since I think this is from memory, what is the same? Either way something has triggered negatives in your memory. If you don't know what the trigger is then it has to be something serious enough for you to block it. 
You may not be aware but every thing you think or do is controlled by previous actions and/or thoughts that are stored in memory as controls. Mostly they are subconscious so we don't know they are doing it. Some are there but buried under happier more positive thoughts. So what has brought them to the surface now? Do you have a core belief that has become active now, or possibly again if you have had panic attacks before?
Agoraphobia is about not having control of a situation. It keeps people from doing what they want because they don't have control or think they don't/won't have control. EG. are you tired of your job?
A lot of life we have no control of but it is not a problem till we focus on it. There is a simple cure for this. Take back control. Not of the situation but your thoughts on the situation.

When you have to call someone (been there) it takes about 15 minutes for them to talk you down if they are good (or just good for you). So in theory you should have the feeling pass without resorting to the Benzo. This has the benefit of reinforcing memory with a possibility which the Benzo won't do. 
If klonopin ( benzodiazapine) is not the answer for you then do the program because CBT is proven to work with or without drugs. Where drugs alone never works. They are just a bandaid.

More on this if you are interested. Feel free to vent here, or ask questions. We are here to support also.

Davit.
10 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I just found this site because I am dealing with similar issues. I am starting to panic at the end of my work day. I feel like I am going to have/have had a panic attack driving less than a mile home! I don't know what has begun this fear again, but I used to not drive at all.

I don't know how to reassure myself. Now once I am home, I don't leave. I only go somewhere if my husband is with me. I know I can take a klonopin tablet and I will be okay, but then I am not dong it on my own. Like Brad, I think about who I am close to or who I can call.
11 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dear m33, I can relate to your fear. The same feelings keep me from doing thing/things that I enjoy. There are friends that live a distance away and I cannot bring myself to drive there for no reason other than fear. I can have life changing experiences with these folks and feel that i'm missing out on happiness. I don't want to settle or give into these fears,I want to live and be the happy person I know I can be. I wish so much that I could jump in my car and just drive,drive, and drive. I pray you can overcome this as I pray I can overcome mine. Best wishes in your attempt and consistent need to do the things you love.
 
 
 
 
11 years ago 0 6 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I can total relate. I have a very hard time driving simple distances, let alone many hours alone. Last week I drove 2 hours to my cottage twice in a week. First time I have done that in probably 3 years now. Never used to have these issues, but I gave into my fear. Created boundries for myself that continued to shrink. Now, I have lost control of most of everyday activities. My anxiety has gotten so bad that I have issues when driving 10 minutes. I calculate the time it would take me to get to my closest friend of family member from wherever I am at during my constant anxiety. Convincing myself that I'll be ok if there is someone within a certain time frame from where I am, yet the anxiety and panic are the same. I know its dumb, but thats what I've trained myself to do...
 
I live more anxiety filled minutes than regular/normal minutes in a day. If you are not this far, do NOT allow yourself to get deeper into your fears and anxiety. It will take control of what you allow it to. It'll even control your days based on the weather if you let it. DO NOT LET IT!
 
This is my life that I have to live presently. But, I'm getting help. Cause we can't do this alone. I've learnt that much for sure...
 
Brad
Ontario, Canada
 
11 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Avoidance is a common reaction to fear but what is it costing you to avoid?
 
 

Ashley, Health Educator
11 years ago 0 26 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you Ashley. i will think about all of this, write it down and get back to you. this is something that i have been avoiding for a long time now. i think in part, its because of the experience i had the last time i left and went out there.
11 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi m33,
 
This sounds like a great opportunity for you. It also sounds like this could cause you a lot of anxiety.  How much time do you have to prepare? If you were able to set up an exposure plan for this what would that look like?
 
There is no doubt in my mind that you will be able to take control of this anxiety and do this the only question is when. When will you be confident enough in what you have learned in this program to tackle this? How will you know you are ready? What would happen if you were not ready but went anyways? These are all important questions to consider before making your choice.
 
Remember that each time you avoid something due to fear you are reinforcing the fear. And I can hear that this is something you really want for yourself. How can we make this happen?
 

Let's fully consider your options together. 
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
11 years ago 0 26 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
im having an issue that has been very debilitating. for almost a year know, i have been planing to take my truck and use it to transport cars, trailers, fifth wheel trailers, and just all kinds of stuff. To give you a little in site on my back ground, i drove truck for 17 years and i stopped driving a little over 2 years ago now. i used to drive all over the u.s. with out a problem. the last time  i tried to do it again, i totaly freaked out. i was supposed to be driving from california to arizona and back. i live in california so its not like its all that far away. i got out there and did everything i could to come home. i went as far as telling my dispatcher that i had a family emergency and that i had to get home as soon as possible. i was absolutely scared to death. i couldnt figure out why, i just knew i had to get home. anyway, now i have an opportunity to take my truck, go to arizona where a friend of mine does the same thing ive been trying to do, and drive my truck for him. its basicly the same thing, arizona to california, but the fear i have is just unreal. if i dont do this then im just passing up something that i used to really like to do and a chance to make awesome money. if i decide to just go and try it, it might be way to much fear. i really dont know what im supposed to do. i dont know if im ready for this. does anyone have any thoughts on this or and answer maybe?

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