My first day was average, but I'm not competing with anyone, not even myself.
I watched a documentary about a mountain climber who climbs without assistance and was inspired. He has great strength in his hands, developed as he progressed in this sport. He spoke of how he had to get rid of his fear when he practised climbing on practise walls inside. Fear is something he cannot entertain during clmbs since it would affect his breathing and performance by seiziing his diaphram. He was acually whistling during his climb, which he describes as slow and gradual rather than exciting.
Maybe it is okay to live life with this moderation, rather than seek the marketed excitement of profit-seekers and the anxiety and disappointment that goes with seeking some else's goals and status.