Hi Everyone,
Wow! I'm not big into poems, but one of the few I remember from school is" If". My fav line in it is.....if you can meet with triump and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same.....
How appropriate for me at this time. As I sit here with my B/P monitor on...all day and night..
Davit....wonderful discussion, I do believe its because we just don't realise we are doing it.
You're avatar is stunning..Wow!
.I had a recent experience which I turned from disaster to triump...in a small way. I want to share it.
Last Sat eve I was at work..it was super busy, but that's normal at times....I had choked and coughed on my first bite of chili at supper, so I put it away. But around 8 pm I was really hungry, so I gave it another try... only to have 3 bites and start choking/coughing again. So I got some milk and a bisquit, stopped choking.....but....then.....
I went into a migraine. My symptoms are the "aura"...flashing zig-zags all over my field of vision.
I haven't had a migraine for over 20 years..... since I have learnt here about my negative core beliefs...and know that my previous migraines brought on my anxiety disorder..in my mind........long story there.....you see, I always thought
I was misdiagnosed, and I actually had something way worse happen to me than a migraine, since I only ever had 3 or 4 with in a year....then no more, ever... and never with the pounding headache you hear about...I waited and watched for them for over 10 years,(anxiety!!) but time eventually took care of that constant fear, athough it lay in the back of my mind.
So, imagine my fear when I start into the zig-zag flashing lights after choking. I thought for sure I was a goner....at least at first....
I called my supervisor, and she gave me one of my ativan...and then another..they are only 0.5 mgs...First time I ever took an ativan. I called hubby to come and get me.....within half and hour, and much soul-bearing to my Florence Nightengale(my supervisor the sweetheart) they were gone. I came home, and rested. Other than a dull headache I was fine yesterday, did my daily routine as usual. And this morning I went and had the B/P cuff put on me.
So, the moral of this story is:
I thougth for years.."what if I ever have a migraine again"..surely, it will kill me. I thought...." what if I have to take ativan..surely I will become an addict"...in reality...I had a migraine, I took ativan, and I'm alive and doing well.
It's hard for me to write what happened down, to really express how far I've come from making everything a disaster to being able to cope.. I wish I had Davit's ability with words!
..I only think positive thoughts now like..wow! its going to be another 20 years before I have another migraine....etc...not be on the lookout for them....but...haha..just in case....none of us know... I went shopping today and got lots of nice things for myself....after I get this thing off tomorrow I'm getting my hair done....
And, the ativan did not make me stoned or anything..which I worried about...I just feel like my migraine was kind o f sureal..which is good...so I don't obsess over it...anyhow, I have to go..hope I didn't bore you all too much...
oh, in case your'e wondering, hubby made the chili...he put pepper flakes in it!!!! Why?? He said he even choked on it! ...hmmm....hahaha
Juanita
