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Problems with avoidance

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Well what a bunch of amazing people we are . Im including me as well , dont want to sound big headed either .

Miki ...... wow that was quite a post !!

Gene .... yes i couldnt have said it better myself , im also tired of doing things in anxiety .

Joe........... amazing , wonderful and lovely .

CM ......... Going out is good for you , its going for walks your on about i presume . Theres nothing wrong with that . You are facing your fears and like the rest of us it sometimes takes time , keep hanging on in there . Talk to us please .

I still managed to go food shopping even though i wanted to scream the place down and run . My family need to eat as well as my animals . It was so hard , even with my husband . I must have looked a sight , eyes wide and the faster shopper in the west !!! I picked quieter times at first with less people . It took months but i can now shop without shaking , heart going a million to the dozen , my breathing oh my i dont miss that . The lumpthroat . Chest pains , feeling sick and dizzy .

I totally agree on facing your fears some can do it head on , thats great for them . But others need to gradually build up like i did . Its works but only YOU can do it , you just have to believe .

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

That's interesting, we are the opposite, CM.

I was avoiding going out at night. But lately I've been accomplishing going out at night.

And Joe, that's crazy you kept shopping with those PAs! Really shows your dedication to your family and how strong your will is.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Hi Ya All:

My biggest avoidance is not being able to stay in at night, I have to get out for a walk every night. When I was first diagnosed with Panic Disorder this was one of my biggest fears and with CBT I actually conquered it last year. Now it's returned again, I managed to stay in 1 night without a PA. But I don't want to try staying in again as I haven't had a PA in over a month.

Now with the nights getting darker earlier and the winter inevitably will be here but just the thought of having to stay in gives me anxiety. I know I will have to face it at some point but there never seems to be the right time.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

I avoided a lot, but also did a lot with very high anxiety. Depending on what's at stake...for instance when it was Christmas time 2 years ago, there was NO WAY I was going to the family Christmas without buying presents for my niece and nephews. These were the worst attacks I've ever had to date, had about 10 very severe attacks when I was out at the malls and stores buying presents. But I refused to let that stop me from getting the presents. Yup, I'm very hard headed and will jump into a hungry lions den if the presents were dropped in there. I love my family.

This also is what really made me realize I had a serious problem, and prompted me to try to do something to better myself.....took about a year for my devils to drop and actually do something about it, 'scuse the language.

Regret...now there's a funny issue. Personally, I regret nothing for long. What I mean, is that whenever regret hits, I use it to either step up to the plate here and now, or when the next time comes around it makes me step up. Regret is only meant to be a one night stand.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

I don't avoid very much except that I do like to be distracted.

I am just tired of doing things in anxiety.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

I was avoiding a lot before, when I was afraid of my fear.

And I think avoiding is easier.. but only in the short run. In the long run... you will regret not dealing with it in the beginning, because what ever you avoid will stick with you forever.

Now this reminds me of a great quote from the great movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's":

"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself."

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1153

Members,

When we avoid things due to anxiety, we miss out. As you probably already know, escaping the situation you find yourself in when you have a panic attacks can lead to problems.

• Problem 1: Some situations are more difficult to avoid than others. For instance, if you have a fear of snakes but you live in the city, it’s probably not a huge cause for concern. Chances are you’ll only be exposed to them at the zoo or pet store. However, if a person fears wide open spaces, crowds, shopping malls or riding in public transportation in can cause a much bigger problem.
• Problem 2: Escaping & avoiding situations works well to reduce anxiety in the short-term. However, in the long-term avoidance makes things worse. The problem is that escaping works too well. When you escape a situation, you receive immediate relief. The result is you become really good at escaping and avoiding. When you think about it, not dealing with problems isn’t what you want to be good at.

Are you struggling with avoidance?

Brenna, Bilingual Health Educator

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