Over the past 3 weeks I have shared my struggle with depression with many friends and family as I have recently take a leave from work because of it. I have had a lot of support and understanding from all so far. I have struggled a bit with finding a good method of telling those people in my life that are not close and that I don't want to go into details or explanation with. I don't want my fear of others finding out about my depression to be something that keeps me from socializing and connecting with others.
So my question is...
How can I explain my current situation of being off work when asked without telling people that I am depressed?
Dealing with Depression within the dynamics of Marriage can be an interesting thing. An important factor in dealing with depression is having good supports and a supportive partner is huge in this process. On the other hand, depression takes its toll on the spouse of the person depressed as well.
I have been married for almost 3 years. My depression has been fairly intense for the past 7 months and I have been off work for the past 2 months because of the depression. My wife has always been supportive and desiring to help in any way she can. Recently she has really struggled to feel the connection between us as well as feeling more and more that she needs her family. She has broke down crying a number of times because of these struggles. I feel very limited in my ability to console her as I feel a lack of capacity to do so. I have felt guilty lately that I am the reason for her struggle. I also feel some anger that she not able to be stronger for me during this time.
So some questions for discussion could be, What are your experiences with depression and marriage or within an intimate committed relationship? What are strategies that have helped you?
Thanks for sharing your experiences in a close relationship. I can relate to that idea of harboring ill feelings toward each other. I definitely do that as we spend time together and interact. I think I interpret her actions or non-verbals too often in a negative way, assuming she is mad or frustrated at me or my depression. I have found challenging my thoughts through the "Thought Records" helpful. In cases with my wife, my distortions are often personalization or catastrophic thinking.
Your approach to writing down how you feel before talking about it sounds like it could be helpful, especially in the intense situations where emotions are strong.
I have discovered that depression doesn't necessarily add conflict to a marriage, but it does have a tendency to intensify conflicts and it is good to nip that distorted thinking in the butt sooner rather than later. And I think I am learning to be more aware of that.
My wife wants to help out wherever she can. She currently attends a support group for family and friends of those with with depression. We have also done some reading together on depression. Always open to new opportunities to learn and grow as well.
It can be challenging to wait for anti-depression medication to kick in. Right now I am in the midst of the waiting game. I started on a low dose (150mg) of Wellbrutrin 6 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago (4 week after starting) I (in consultation with my doctor) went up to 300 mg which is just into the average range for Wellbrutrin. Sometimes I wonder how long I should stay on it for (I do consult my doctor on these decisions, but he often asks what I would like to do too).
What are other people's experience with trying anti-depressant medication? How long did you wait until it kicked in? Or if it didn't work, how long did you wait until you tried something different?
-sweets
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